Funny Status Messages

   If I buy a teddy bear for $5, name it Mohammed and sell it for $10, have I made of prophet?

   If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt.

   LADIES: If you don't know ur own worth and value...then do NOT expect someone else to calculate it for u.

   I don't know why everyone is so shocked about LeBron's mom, we all had those days when MOM seduces our best friend or gets arrested at 4 in the morning drunk and catching an assault charge for punching a valet at a hotel. What's the big deal?

   After seeing Iggy Pop perform on American Idol, Steven Tyler is probably thinking I'm going home and eating a sandwich.

   You know those little screens at the gas pumps? They should start showing porn, so I can watch someone else getting screwed at the pump.

   There was a two car pile up in mexico today...40 people died

   I hate being single. I'm not good at it.

   Maybe cupid should shoot himself with his own damn arrow then maybe he'd see how much love hurts

   A MAN WILL NOT RESPECT AWOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER BODY, IF YOU TRADE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF.

   Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout.

   May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruin my day...and may their arms be too short to scratch.

   My mum told me once that she judges how good a film is by the number of tissues she gets through....funny really, I have the same system

   Dotn dirnk and update Fistbook statass.

   I thought bullying was no longer socially acceptable....so why are the Republicans doing it?

   It seems I have 3 personalities. One that has a plan, one that completely screws up the plan, and one that says "what the hell happened to the plan?"......

   head and shoulders needs to come out with a new shampoo. called knees and toes

   I'm feeling just a little under the table this morning.....

   Hypochondriacs with OCD make the best house keepers.

   The magic of Facebook - you can poke each other all day long and no one has to lay in the wet spot :-P