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Just found out I'm the tallest midget in the world 
I can still see my feet, so seconds is still allowed.
Status will update in 5 minutes...If not, read this again...
will not discriminate against the following: race, religion, sex, or creed. However UGLY... I have to draw the line somewhere!
you wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating Fruit Loops on your front porch.
snow on da ground, snow on da ground, lookin' like a fool with yo car spun around.
believes insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it. ツ
Why do men complain about women nagging when it could all be solved so easily? DO IT THE FIRST TIME WE ASK!
The US president should have lead the country today in a moment of PRAYER; then out of respect for the 6 people who lost their lives and the 19 people wounded, the non-believers could have exercised their right to SILENCE.
Legally,It's questionable. Morally,It's disgusting. Personally,I like it.
No one wants to work. Work sucks, it's just that eating thing we all like to do
I know I'm drunk when it takes me longer than three seconds to figure out what's happening when I walk through a fan blowing air at me
irony can be pretty ironic sometimes.
Back in my day they never shut our school down for snow.. They just moved the school and made us walk further..
Lets go Ducks! (Even if Auburn wins, in 2-3 years they will have title stripped anyway.)
with the birds dying in arkansas...and the eagles in philly..and the ducks tonight I think its safe to say the Aflockalpse has begun..
Oregon Football team has made great strides over their break. They've gone from smelling the highlighters to just coloring on themselves.
Life is a beach, i'm just playing in the sand.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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