Funny Status Messages

   money talks and right now its saying "Nah nah nah nah nah...you can't catch me!"

   Hi, I was just curious cause I saw you noticing me so I'm just giving you a notice that I noticed you after you noticed me. Shall we chat or continue flirting from a distance?

   Since being subtle is wasted on the naive...... I WANT A BB GUN FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!

   True colors always shine through smokescreens.

   I don't hold grudges. I simply maintain them until you apologize or admit that you are wrong.

   I don't hold grudges. I simply maintain them until you apologize or admit that you are wrong.

   I like my woman like I like my eggs....overeasy.

   Just brought his pet rock to the vet.

   When will it be socially acceptable to drink queso from a straw?

   Don't hope so....Wish so! Hope is nothing but a lazy wish :)

   Starbucks has announced that they will start selling beer and wine in their stores. Apparently, they've run out of sober people to sell their $9.00 cups of coffee to.

   having a hard time deciding between a Boston Pancake or a German Knuckle Sandwich!

   suffering from PMS (Pre Marital Stress)

   ‎"Only one store has been a part of your life for 150 years. That's the power of MACY'S" Wow! They're really targeting the seniors with this commercial!

   To save time, let's just assume I know everything.

   wondering if anybody can send me some energy... not farmville energy .. or not frontierville energy.. just plain body energy

   has hot water again...and a new found appreciation for her non plumber husband, who installed the HW heater perfectly...and looked kinda sexy with all that plumbers crack hangin out....hmmmm....think I'll go pollish his tool....!

   doesnt understand why some ppl are so sensitive to words...I guess there must be an essence of guilt behind those words,,,Get over it

   Drinking is a problem only if you're not good at it. To me, everything you listed is proof that I am very good at it.”

   I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. Please speak up.