@OMG_Its_Matt Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon just once i'd like to see a Price Is Right contestant who is confident enough to make their own decisions
←Rate | 10-23-2011 14:32 by @OMG_Its_Matt Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know it's bad when the only thing women feel while having sex with you is remorse.
←Rate | 10-30-2011 15:28 by @OMG_Its_Matt Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's gotten to the point where I judge people solely on how many Dumb & Dumber quotes they know.
←Rate | 11-27-2011 14:12 by @OMG_Its_Matt Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whenever there's a ping pong compatition on tv I secretely hope Tom Hanks shows up, paddle in hand, and just destroys everyone.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 17:39 by @OMG_Its_Matt Comments (0)  

   messageicon Uggs: Helping men to identify lazy women sonce 2004.
←Rate | 10-21-2011 11:48 by @OMG_Its_Matt Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dubstep is just dance music with Touretts Syndrom.
←Rate | 04-03-2012 01:44 by @OMG_Its_Matt Comments (1)  

   messageicon I never make the same mistake twice. Except for that time in Thailand. But in my defence they had really small atoms apples.
←Rate | 11-27-2011 18:28 by @OMG_Its_Matt Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was thinking about becoming a comedian, but I don't think I'm sad enough.
←Rate | 04-03-2012 01:42 by @OMG_Its_Matt Comments (0)  

   messageicon My "host" friend called me fat and immature tonight. I didn't agree so I took a poo in her cats litter box.
←Rate | 12-11-2011 09:54 by @OMG_Its_Matt Comments (0)  

   messageicon Taking my lunch break in a near by park would be a little less complicated if I didn't forget the fact that I have a mustache this month.
←Rate | 11-15-2011 16:41 by @OMG_Its_Matt Comments (0)  


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