Fluff!! Funny Status Messages
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WebMD is updating their servers because of a virus. Well, they think it's a virus, but it could be kidney failure, a heart murmur, gallstones, or possibly appendicitis.
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06-16-2018 17:50 by Fluff!!
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WOW! I can't believe the Guard who was guarding Jeffery Epstein was killed in an automobile accident - Tomorrow or Monday!
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08-11-2019 16:00 by Fluff!!
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great idea for an April Fools Prank ... Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace their wallpaper with a screenshot of their old desktop.
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03-31-2013 14:33 by Fluff!!
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EXERCISE?? Shoot, I thought you said EXTRA PIES!!!
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09-05-2017 11:10 by Fluff!!
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I'm thinking about buying an exercise bike, my treadmill works fine for laying my pants on, but it won't accommodate hanging shirts on hangers.
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04-26-2014 09:37 by Fluff!!
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In honor of Father's Day, I came up with a bourbon and cookie diet that is going to make me so rich... And fat... And drunk... Well, at least two of those
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06-16-2013 10:30 by Fluff!!
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You'd think my boss would know me by now and stop asking me everyday if I've been drinking.
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04-23-2015 08:01 by Fluff!!
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It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I've turned myself around.
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09-16-2013 19:34 by Fluff!!
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Not one person asked me how much faster I can run in my new shoes. Being an adult is f'n dumb!!
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08-20-2019 16:26 by Fluff!!
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I hate getting paid and being broke all in the same day!! :(
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02-27-2013 19:26 by Fluff!!
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My career as a Walmart greeter was cut short when the manager noticed me singing "Welcome to the Jungle" to every customer
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05-15-2013 07:10 by Fluff!!
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if I had 10 cookies, and you took half, what would you have? ... THAT'S RIGHT!! A black eye and a broken hand!!!
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08-13-2019 15:27 by Fluff!!
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According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, “neighborhood watch” isn’t what I thought it was
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03-29-2014 16:36 by Fluff!!
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Seriously guys, if you want a woman to save a horse and ride a cowboy, you guys need to learn to a save a tree and eat a beaver.
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08-04-2013 10:46 by Fluff!!
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It's perfectly OK to pretend that you're Irish on St. Patrick's Day. You pretend you're good on Christmas, don't you?
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03-17-2013 11:34 by Fluff!!
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So this year I decided to fill out my own tax return, and guess what ... I'm getting back 4 million dollars!!!
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01-14-2015 16:04 by Fluff!!
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FYI - Valentines Day is only 4 days away... It's not too late to break up.
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02-10-2013 17:05 by Fluff!!
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Today's brilliant idea: Slim Fast beer.
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08-29-2013 07:36 by Fluff!!
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I wish I could have sex for everytime I was turned down for sex
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06-14-2013 11:33 by Fluff!!
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If I had a dollar for eveytime I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream
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07-01-2020 11:12 by Fluff!!
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