@Kid_Eddi88 Funny Status Messages

   It's not the destination, it's the journey. Except when you're heading to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea

   Why haven't they proved/disproved the myth "Once you go black you never go back" on Myth Busters?

   Why do I need scissors to open a pack of scissors anyway...the whole point of buying scissors is that I don't f**king have any

   Teenage pregnancy just dropped 50% due to the release of Madden12

   When non-smokers come to My house....I ask them to stand outside while I have a smoke

   Sitting here watching thousands of dollars worth of food be thrown away on Hell's Kitchen while I eat my Ramen Noodles

   Why even ask how my weekend was if you're just going to interrupt me halfway through to say "Yeah, I saw your Facebook post."