Moon Funny Status Messages

   Just cleaned out my friends list and for the first time in my life I finally know what they meant in Auld Lang Syne when they wrote "Should old acquaintances be forgot, and never brought to mind"

   Haven't looked at Facebook in a while and have been doing things I don't normally do while looking at it like reading books, verbally talking to friends, noticing my surroundings and showering.

   Why should I trust the toothpaste recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists when they're the ones who make money fixing people's teeth?

   Find the man strokes your hair and says how soft it is and doesn't care if it's on your legs.

   My Alexis doesn't always answer me when I ask you a question, and now I know why it talks like a woman.

   Cleaned all the spare change out of a old couch I'm about to throw out and think I found just enough to buy a new couch.

   I like using my speakerphone but hate how it literally spells everything I say exclamation point period

   The proverbial saying 'Rome wasn't built in a day' suggests that a complex task or great achievement that shouldn't be rushed and is a great excuse for procrastinating.

   I understand that in every life a little Rain Must Fall, but what I don't understand is why does it always happen to me the few times when forget to close my car windows?

   Whenever I email a girl I like with my old flip phone I always make sure to finish it off by writing "Sent by IPhone 5G Mobile Device" so she thinks I'm hip.

   "Walking In a Wonderland" is a great Christmas song for Southerners to keep in mind since they don't know how to drive in it.

   In the summer it was to hot outside now it's to cold outside to take the Christmas lights down.

   There's something just really wrong about 2 for the price of 1 Valinetimes day cards that say "Nobody makes me smile like you do" :(

   Lets be honest and Like this status if your like me and play with the words you post like a can of Campbell's alphabet soup.

   Happy Valintimes, as I love you more then I can express on a website sent by means of a plastic artificial intelligence device <3

   Facebook's down and I am poised at conquering the world!

   Live music can sometimes take me to another place. Like today for example I saw a band who were so bad I left I went to another place spirit.

   Its a little frustrating how my speakerphone literally types everything I say exclamation mark

   To many environmentally-friendly Facebook philosophers and not enough people willing to bend over to pick up a piece of garbage.

   Maybe we should all start calling 2020 are lucky number and see if things might change!