StonerDudee Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Why can't the ice cream man just get a fu*kin liquor license already
←Rate | 10-21-2014 14:39 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I propose that we abolish marriage and engage in 3 year contracts instead, with the option for renewal.
←Rate | 06-20-2012 12:49 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I prefer to call it a "Ta-Da" list. Cause it'd be fu*king amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
←Rate | 10-02-2014 12:06 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did we try giving the government a snickers?
←Rate | 10-02-2013 20:34 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's longer than most relationships these days? This status.
←Rate | 09-13-2012 13:04 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon News: "3 Cliff Walkers Fall to Their Death" Wow, what were the chances of them all having the same name?
←Rate | 12-26-2014 22:09 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Moving all my retirement funds into a Colorado snack machine franchise.
←Rate | 01-03-2014 11:03 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Obama really wanted to impress me... he'd somehow combine Missouri & Oregon to make a "Show me your beaver" state.
←Rate | 10-19-2012 13:17 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet. It reminds me of why there is no f*cking money in there.
←Rate | 05-20-2013 00:51 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Really offended these microwave instructions told me to turn my burrito over gently, like I don't treat every burrito with the utmost respec
←Rate | 09-29-2013 01:57 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who get offended on the internet are the same people that take mini golf seriously.
←Rate | 12-05-2012 14:10 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn't proof that you can effectively work as part of a team.
←Rate | 12-06-2012 11:39 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon The house from Home Alone is up for sale for 2.5 million dollars. F*ck that, the area's full of burglars.
←Rate | 12-26-2014 22:07 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're thinking of hanging out with your ex, jerk off first and see how you feel after that.
←Rate | 04-23-2015 10:50 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never leave something good to find something better, because once you realize you had the best, the best has found better.
←Rate | 08-22-2013 19:57 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got kicked out of a Gatorade convention. I guess standin behind the women and whispering "is it in you?" was the wrong thing to do.
←Rate | 07-17-2012 22:05 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'LSD makes users lose weight' That makes sense, it's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it.
←Rate | 10-14-2013 21:42 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish all videos of people twerking ended with them catching on fire.
←Rate | 09-09-2013 18:47 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I seriously hate it when a couple starts having an argument in front of you. They could have least waited until I got dressed and left.
←Rate | 07-31-2015 23:40 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say 1 in 4 men is homosexual. So there must be one in my group of friends. I hope its David he's super cute.
←Rate | 06-14-2012 00:39 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  




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