Moon Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Just cleaned out my friends list and for the first time in my life I finally know what they meant in Auld Lang Syne when they wrote "Should old acquaintances be forgot, and never brought to mind"
←Rate | 01-02-2020 12:23 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Haven't looked at Facebook in a while and have been doing things I don't normally do while looking at it like reading books, verbally talking to friends, noticing my surroundings and showering.
←Rate | 01-08-2019 14:22 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why should I trust the toothpaste recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists when they're the ones who make money fixing people's teeth?
←Rate | 01-02-2021 16:33 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Find the man strokes your hair and says how soft it is and doesn't care if it's on your legs.
←Rate | 01-26-2021 19:49 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Alexis doesn't always answer me when I ask you a question, and now I know why it talks like a woman.
←Rate | 08-07-2020 15:39 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Cleaned all the spare change out of a old couch I'm about to throw out and think I found just enough to buy a new couch.
←Rate | 02-21-2021 14:45 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I like using my speakerphone but hate how it literally spells everything I say exclamation point period
←Rate | 03-01-2020 11:43 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon The proverbial saying 'Rome wasn't built in a day' suggests that a complex task or great achievement that shouldn't be rushed and is a great excuse for procrastinating.
←Rate | 07-10-2020 14:27 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I understand that in every life a little Rain Must Fall, but what I don't understand is why does it always happen to me the few times when forget to close my car windows?
←Rate | 12-27-2018 22:22 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whenever I email a girl I like with my old flip phone I always make sure to finish it off by writing "Sent by IPhone 5G Mobile Device" so she thinks I'm hip.
←Rate | 01-16-2021 11:41 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Walking In a Wonderland" is a great Christmas song for Southerners to keep in mind since they don't know how to drive in it.
←Rate | 12-19-2020 09:59 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon In the summer it was to hot outside now it's to cold outside to take the Christmas lights down.
←Rate | 01-05-2021 11:12 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's something just really wrong about 2 for the price of 1 Valinetimes day cards that say "Nobody makes me smile like you do" :(
←Rate | 02-15-2019 13:24 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Lets be honest and Like this status if your like me and play with the words you post like a can of Campbell's alphabet soup.
←Rate | 02-28-2019 14:29 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Valintimes, as I love you more then I can express on a website sent by means of a plastic artificial intelligence device <3
←Rate | 02-14-2020 11:30 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Facebook's down and I am poised at conquering the world!
←Rate | 03-14-2019 10:25 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Live music can sometimes take me to another place. Like today for example I saw a band who were so bad I left I went to another place spirit.
←Rate | 06-15-2019 14:13 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its a little frustrating how my speakerphone literally types everything I say exclamation mark
←Rate | 10-01-2018 17:10 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon To many environmentally-friendly Facebook philosophers and not enough people willing to bend over to pick up a piece of garbage.
←Rate | 09-01-2021 09:14 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I may be ugly but I'm vaccinated!
←Rate | 03-02-2021 16:11 by Moon Comments (0)  

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