Aaron Funny Status Messages
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Today is . . . the tomorrow you thought about yesterday.
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05-24-2010 18:22 by Aaron
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Days are short in December but spending them with family really stretches them out.
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12-21-2010 18:02 by Aaron
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Someday, I'd like to take a train across the country.. but they never leave the keys in them.
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09-11-2010 08:46 by Aaron
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a drunk was hauled into court.”Mister,” the judge began, you've been brought here for drinking.” “Great,” the drunk exclaimed. “When do we get started?”
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03-22-2010 12:41 by Aaron
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Warning: Warnings are so retarded. Like on this deodorant 'Avoid contact with eyes.' Too late, I've already seen it.
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08-24-2011 16:46 by Aaron
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My friend said he thought I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
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12-18-2010 13:53 by Aaron
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Only a few of us have that special talent to trip UP the stairs.
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03-10-2010 12:25 by Aaron
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call-in sick every morning to somewhere you don't work
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10-30-2012 12:40 by Aaron
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Do you know the four signs of growing old? 1. Forgetting names, 2. Forgetting faces, 3. Forgetting to zip up, 4. Forgetting to zip down.
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07-14-2010 22:43 by Aaron
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I turn the radio down when I drive by cops so there's no evidence of fun.
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09-30-2010 19:23 by Aaron
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In case of emergency, break glass, scream, bleed to death.
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04-17-2010 17:29 by Aaron
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"I before E, except after C." Disproved by science.
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04-10-2011 19:46 by Aaron
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Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.
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07-30-2012 17:28 by Aaron
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will have on his Tombstone, "See I told you I was SICK!"
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03-20-2010 00:31 by Aaron
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My doctor told me to avoid unnecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill.
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09-28-2010 21:15 by Aaron
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Try something spontaneous today. Like combustion.
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02-05-2011 14:39 by Aaron
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I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill
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07-07-2011 16:46 by Aaron
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Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about.
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07-24-2012 23:22 by Aaron
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The liquor store advertised.. We De-Liver
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07-17-2010 00:49 by Aaron
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This damn Mcdonald's never has a fully stocked condiment counter. This is the last straw!
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08-21-2011 13:08 by Aaron
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