Aaron Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye. Then it's a life of piracy on the high seas.
←Rate | 05-21-2012 19:27 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Days are short in December but spending them with family really stretches them out.
←Rate | 12-21-2010 18:02 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someday, I'd like to take a train across the country.. but they never leave the keys in them.
←Rate | 09-11-2010 08:46 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon a drunk was hauled into court.”Mister,” the judge began, you've been brought here for drinking.” “Great,” the drunk exclaimed. “When do we get started?”
←Rate | 03-22-2010 12:41 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Warning: Warnings are so retarded. Like on this deodorant 'Avoid contact with eyes.' Too late, I've already seen it.
←Rate | 08-24-2011 16:46 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend said he thought I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
←Rate | 12-18-2010 13:53 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only a few of us have that special talent to trip UP the stairs.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 12:25 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you know the four signs of growing old? 1. Forgetting names, 2. Forgetting faces, 3. Forgetting to zip up, 4. Forgetting to zip down.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 22:43 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I turn the radio down when I drive by cops so there's no evidence of fun.
←Rate | 09-30-2010 19:23 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon In case of emergency, break glass, scream, bleed to death.
←Rate | 04-17-2010 17:29 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon call-in sick every morning to somewhere you don't work
←Rate | 10-30-2012 12:40 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I before E, except after C." Disproved by science.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 19:46 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Try something spontaneous today. Like combustion.
←Rate | 02-05-2011 14:39 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill
←Rate | 07-07-2011 16:46 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon will have on his Tombstone, "See I told you I was SICK!"
←Rate | 03-20-2010 00:31 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor told me to avoid unnecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill.
←Rate | 09-28-2010 21:15 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.
←Rate | 07-30-2012 17:28 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 23:22 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon The liquor store advertised.. We De-Liver
←Rate | 07-17-2010 00:49 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that whenever I have to turn around in a strange driveway, I feel like they're gonna come running out with pitchforks and torches?
←Rate | 12-23-2011 16:44 by Aaron Comments (0)  




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