Baddie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Does anyone on Facebook ever actually get laid? Asking for me.
←Rate | 12-13-2014 08:08 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If by sexy you mean me licking the donut icing off my fingers then yes I can be damn sexy.
←Rate | 12-13-2014 13:11 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My daughter kicked me out of her imaginary tea party when I asked if she had any vodka.
←Rate | 12-14-2014 01:19 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll put my phone down when I'm dead on the outside too
←Rate | 12-14-2014 08:39 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I accidentally turned off all the lights and played dead when you knocked on the door.
←Rate | 12-16-2014 10:41 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas Gift idea: Take her to the Planetarium so she can see the world doesn't revolve around her.
←Rate | 12-18-2014 23:48 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I asked for a receipt when you gave me your heart..
←Rate | 12-18-2014 23:53 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your dog weighs less than 10lbs, it's technically a cat
←Rate | 12-19-2014 00:10 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon [During Interview] "Do you have any questions?" - Yeah, in The Titanic why did Jack sink when he died but everyone else floated?
←Rate | 12-19-2014 00:11 by Baddie Comments (1)  


   messageicon But Officer, that's just my medicinal sawed-off shotgun.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:23 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon 90% of socializing is wondering what to do with your hands when out in public.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:44 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationship Status: Intercepting blown kisses.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:46 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Interestingly, if we invade North Korea because it caused us to miss a movie, that still won't be the worst reason we ever went to war.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 13:15 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You may remember me from such events as ruining Christmas dinner.
←Rate | 12-21-2014 01:11 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon No Miley, Santa doesn’t have a "twerkshop"
←Rate | 12-22-2014 09:59 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't want feelings. I just want pizza.
←Rate | 12-28-2014 10:46 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Social Media: When you can't stand being around human beings but also can't stand to be alone with your thoughts.
←Rate | 12-29-2014 10:24 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2015 and I still can't believe it's not butter!
←Rate | 01-01-2015 12:40 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one will ever look at you the way I do.. .. .. But thats probably because no one will ever do it from the tree outside your window
←Rate | 01-04-2015 12:15 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife gave me a coupon good for one blowjob on my birthday. I redeemed it with her friend Betty.
←Rate | 01-19-2015 08:40 by Baddie Comments (0)  




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