nunthewizr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Hey Muslims, if you want 72 virgins just go to your local cinema today for a Twilight showing and you'll have plenty to choose from.
←Rate | 11-19-2011 21:49 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found out I have tinnitus from constant exposure to rape whistles.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:36 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found a butterfly on the ground that had no wings. So, I poured some RedBull on it and BAM... it drowned.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:24 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know why some girls refuse to use a porta-potty. It's not like us men pee on the seat on purpose...geesh:)
←Rate | 07-27-2010 21:44 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Dad...I forgot to brush my teeth before school. That's okay...here's a piece of gum:)
←Rate | 11-08-2010 10:01 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Facebook should have a status limit per day. This is not Twitter, shut the f*ck up, nobody cares.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 23:31 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish giants existed because watching them walk into telephone wires would be entertaining.
←Rate | 12-21-2012 09:43 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't sweat the small stuff. I let it fill me with rage. Then I drink. Then I sweat alcohol. It's like the circle of life.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:31 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can say 'strawberry blonde' all you want. I know a fu*king ginger when I see one.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:29 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon OMG!!! I am so f'd up...I drank so much last night..i woke up in my own vomit! Party!....woohoo!..I just chugged more vodka to cure the hangover!.....(this didn't happen, just wanted to fit in in Facebook).
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:18 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone posts a picture of their new car and you want to reply, "Congrats on your $600 a month payment!"
←Rate | 10-08-2016 13:33 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'm inevitably brought to justice for my crimes against humanity I hope I'm found "incredibly" guilty and not just "regular" guilty.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:25 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Currently pondering.....for a very curious monkey, why couldn't George ever figure out the name of the man in the yellow hat?
←Rate | 05-03-2013 22:51 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I can't identify an animal I spray it with water because there's always that chance it could be a gremlin
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:28 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Holy Crap!!! I'm watching Fox News as we speak and they just discovered bigfoot for real... wait wait.. disregard it's Chaz Bono....
←Rate | 04-05-2012 10:14 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only reason I want the Bears to win today is so that I can watch them lose in the Super Bowl.
←Rate | 01-23-2011 15:50 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You think when whoever invented the Bong, a black light appeared over their head....
←Rate | 06-16-2010 18:16 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I run toward people and get so frustrated that they don't know I want to do the Dirty Dancing lift. Then it just becomes awkward.
←Rate | 08-16-2013 20:23 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Farmville......Fishville??? Are you serious??? Just wake me up when they launch "Margaritaville"......I'll be there:)
←Rate | 02-21-2010 10:13 by nunthewizr Comments (2)  


   messageicon Size doesn’t matter. It only, took one little comma to destroy this entire sentence.
←Rate | 02-26-2014 10:06 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  




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