jdpower Funny Status Messages
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We can forgive Ireland's $70 billion debt. But we must never forgive them for Riverdance.
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11-29-2010 21:29 by jdpower
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US Military is experimenting with robots. Part of new program, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Rise Up and Kill Us."
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11-29-2010 21:30 by jdpower
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French couple claims to have found 271 unknown Picassos. Suspiciously, one of them is "Still Life with McRib."
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11-29-2010 21:31 by jdpower
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I hope South Pole doesn't respond to increased North Pole activity with military exercises. Everybody settle down.
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12-04-2010 13:19 by jdpower
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I just tricked a vegan into reading "Chicken Soup for the Soul"
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12-04-2010 13:20 by jdpower
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7-11 is developing a new wine.. It's said to pair well with poor life choices and sadness
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12-07-2010 21:26 by jdpower
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I was excited to bring home my Xmas Tree but I didn't have the heart to tell it I'd be leaving it in the street for dead in just a few weeks.
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12-09-2010 23:47 by jdpower
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Cam Newton's winning the Heisman surprised no one - especially Julian Assange, who knew about it a month ago.
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12-11-2010 22:51 by jdpower
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I'm fairly sure "PIMPIN LIKE BUBBA GUMP GOES SHRIMPIN" is the worst text I've ever sent.
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01-05-2011 20:43 by jdpower
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"Oh my god, they have Rolling Rock??!!" - said by maybe 2 or 3 people a year.
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01-05-2011 20:49 by jdpower
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I wonder if Cher is going to get lonely once the rest of us have died.
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01-05-2011 20:52 by jdpower
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"Every kiss begins with Kay." But for second base and beyond, go with Tiffany.
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01-05-2011 20:57 by jdpower
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In Vegas, Charlie Sheen was hanging out with 3 porn stars.. Good to see he's trying to cut back.
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01-12-2011 13:23 by jdpower
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If you insist on telling me about the day your child was born, then I insist you also tell me about the night it was conceived.
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01-12-2011 18:10 by jdpower
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It confuses me when I see a cougar wearing a leopard print sweater.
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01-25-2011 12:44 by jdpower
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BBC News: high brow. Fox News: low brow. Al Jazeera: unibrow.
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01-28-2011 18:52 by jdpower
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BREAKING: Taco Bell to re-brand Itself as "64% Vegan"
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01-28-2011 18:56 by jdpower
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New season of Jersey Shore to film in Italy.. To maintain balance in the universe, Italy will send 8 citizens to Fazoli's
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01-28-2011 19:03 by jdpower
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Oprah embraces her half sister & brings her into the family. Tomorrow, I will be showing up as long lost brother - JD Winfrey
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01-28-2011 19:06 by jdpower
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The coolest part about wallet chains is that they let potential thieves know your wallet isn't worth stealing.
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01-31-2011 18:06 by jdpower
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