Kisstopher Funny Status Messages
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Be the girl that all the guys want. Not the girl all the guys HAD.
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She asked me how to spell slut. So I helped her spell her name.
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Sow a thought, reap an act. Sow an act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny!
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I hate when somebody claims they are mad at you but won't tell you why.
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Blaming others for your misfortune can ruin your health -- which you'll probably just blame on somebody else too.
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You know you're fat when you run out of breath eating.
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Some guys mess up and lose a good woman because they are so used to dealing with sluts that they have forgotten what it takes to keep a real woman.
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Always be thankful for another day of life because you never know when it's gonna be your last.
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There are two types of people I hate in this world: Nosey people AND people who won't tell me what the hell is going on in their lives.
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Ladies: Never make an important decision while you're on your period.
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A COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP is born when the KING of mixed signals hooks up with the QUEEN of second thoughts.
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Love doesn't cost a thing; except tears, a broken heart, wasted years and half your stuff.
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The moment you stop giving a damn is the moment things get easier and better.
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Condoms should change to different colors according to whatever disease they come in contact with.
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Love is pain, and anyone who says otherwise is trying to sell you something.
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That uneasy moment when you realise Facebook has made more CHANGES than OBAMA.
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Its my birthday today and I am feeling so special even the supermarket doors are opening by themselves when they see me coming through.
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I get offended when people assume I think and care about them.Who died and made you money?
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Not everyone who plays with you is on your team.
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A man asked a prostitute, “How much is one round?” The Prostitute replies,"100 on the bed, 50 on the sofa and 20 on the floor. The man gives her 100 and the Prostitute says, 'Wow a classy guy' The man replies, “classy my a$$, I want 5 times on the
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