snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Baby found in the middle of the Meteorite crash site,,, he is miraculously unharmed... Wrapped in what seems to be a red cape.
←Rate | 02-16-2013 06:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know it's 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
←Rate | 04-06-2012 18:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time someone presses the elevator button you've already pressed,,, act totally impressed & tell them they did it waaaay better than you.
←Rate | 04-08-2012 08:31 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was single, I would have a stick figure of myself on the back of my car next to a bag of cash.
←Rate | 05-28-2012 08:47 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a theory that the world will end in 5105, and we've been reading the Mayan calendar upside down
←Rate | 01-11-2012 18:04 by snotty Comments (2)  


   messageicon I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
←Rate | 03-21-2012 18:15 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon My neighbor is the CEO of a factory that makes annoying children
←Rate | 03-30-2012 11:23 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hello and welcome to DeVry orientation.. Sign-in sheets are on the left, Steve is passing out your diplomas,,, thanks & congrats class of 10:47.
←Rate | 02-02-2014 07:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got my killer quads from hovering over public toilets.
←Rate | 10-19-2014 18:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Eggnog is perfect for when you feel like drinking a glass of pancake batter.
←Rate | 11-23-2014 18:41 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favourite part of driving through my state,, is the four-mile stretch of highway that isn’t under construction.
←Rate | 04-15-2015 15:36 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just found out that his full name is actually,, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
←Rate | 09-21-2013 12:48 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I LOVE sleeping,,,,,, It's like being dead,,, Without all the commitment
←Rate | 01-07-2012 13:35 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My driver's side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I'm probably gonna starve to death..
←Rate | 08-11-2012 11:11 by snotty Comments (5)  


   messageicon My mother-in-law's coming,,,,, I had to clear out half my closet so she has a place to hang upside down and sleep
←Rate | 08-09-2012 18:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess you could call her a trophy wife. She’s tattooed with the names of the previous winners.
←Rate | 03-12-2014 19:56 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just called the bank for my account info,, and a voice whispered 'If you break the pack in half, Ramen noodles can last you two days.'
←Rate | 05-14-2015 18:18 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wanted: Someone to hand feed me Doritos so my fingers don't get orange..... P.S. No weirdos.
←Rate | 04-16-2016 08:19 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Awww.... It looks like the neighbors are having the police dept over for brunch..
←Rate | 04-24-2012 01:01 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somehow,, We've got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
←Rate | 02-19-2013 07:40 by snotty Comments (0)  




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