Moon Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I'm so old when I was a kid the only kind of positive post we knew was on a car battery.
←Rate | 07-03-2020 07:34 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't forget to wave smile and wish your neighbors a Merry Christmas who are kind like Facebook friends you might not really know either, but live closer.
←Rate | 12-23-2020 11:01 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did you hear about the new squirrel diet? It's just nuts.
←Rate | 02-15-2021 00:38 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Men are NOT pigs. Pigs are gentle sensitive and intelligent animals.
←Rate | 10-23-2019 14:52 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon With the new year my plan is to conquer a mountain! also known as finish folding the clean cloths piling up on top of the dryer.
←Rate | 01-01-2020 12:37 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm so old when I was a kid the World Wide Web was connected by a string, and two cups.
←Rate | 01-07-2020 10:18 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just got gas for $1.99! And no it wasn't at Taco Bell.
←Rate | 02-03-2020 08:01 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just burnt 330 calories in about 30 minutes. And thats the last time I look at facebook with a pizza in the oven!
←Rate | 04-18-2020 00:10 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm so old I just sit around and look at Facebook all day.... like younger people do nowadays.
←Rate | 09-12-2020 22:25 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon My doctor says I need to cut back on my gluten. Over my bread body!
←Rate | 09-16-2020 00:51 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't understand people who take a hundred selfies and then pick the best one to post. I mean how do they roll in real life if they look like the other 99?
←Rate | 01-27-2019 21:36 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Come join the world wide movement called "I pledge to bend over and pick up a random piece of garbage on the street or wherever I see it" movement. Like and share if you like to join!
←Rate | 01-13-2020 08:42 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Taking things to the thrift store. But first I have to drive around with it in the back of my car for the next 3 months.
←Rate | 02-12-2020 12:29 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon For Sale. Slightly used Christmas tree. Prefer to do socially distance exchange and will place in front of house for you pickup. Leave money in neighbor's mailbox.
←Rate | 01-06-2021 13:42 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'd tell you guys a joke about chemistry but I know It wouldn't get a reaction and I would tell you a joke about a pencil but its pointless and my joke about leaches sucks and I have a feeling I might have told you the one about Deja vu before, so never m
←Rate | 06-01-2019 15:58 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can predict the future, for example, sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ oʇ sʎɐʍǝpıs pɐǝɥ ɹnoʎ uɹnʇ pןnoʍ noʎ ʍǝuʞ I
←Rate | 11-19-2020 01:22 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon The cashier asked if I'd like my milk in a bag to whom I replied "No thanks, I think it would be easier to carry home in the container."
←Rate | 01-27-2019 13:42 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon One good thing about daylight savings time is the clock in my car is finally correct!
←Rate | 03-08-2020 13:08 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Love when I take the time to type out a long text message to a friend and they reply with "K"
←Rate | 05-22-2020 20:49 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I put the thingamajig in the whatchamacallit and turned doohickey and wuteveritis still doesn't work. Any ideas?
←Rate | 11-12-2020 23:18 by Moon Comments (0)  

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