Kisstopher Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Mind of a Human: "we need to save the Polar Bears" Mind of a Polar Bear: "I can't wait to eat another Human. Those things are damn tasty"
←Rate | 09-29-2012 14:47 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog likes to stand and stare at the front door for no reason because he knows the idea of unexpected visitors freaks me out.
←Rate | 10-04-2012 12:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know you shouldn't text and drive but I've only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I should be okay to drive.
←Rate | 01-16-2013 11:57 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes things just don't work out. And for those times there's always alcohol.
←Rate | 10-11-2012 02:34 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The world won't change until there's a tampon commercial where the girls are all curled up on couches and angrily drinking wine.
←Rate | 05-13-2012 08:15 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay ladies, here is the deal, we will stop talking about masturbation if you stop talking about your period. Fair trade.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 10:01 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Forget the wild animals, aliens, ghosts, snakes or spiders; the greatest danger to a human being is another human being.
←Rate | 02-21-2013 14:06 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why the hell has someone not invented a see-through toaster yet?
←Rate | 08-23-2012 02:26 by Kisstopher Comments (1)  


   messageicon Even a fish can escape being caught, if it keeps it's mouth shut.
←Rate | 04-30-2011 15:03 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is world animal day...let's all take a moment of silence... and remember our Ex's
←Rate | 04-14-2011 03:25 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife and I laugh at how competitive we are at things, but I laugh more.
←Rate | 03-03-2013 06:40 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can be the ripest, juiciest and sweetest strawberry in the field, and there's still going to be some fool who hates strawberries.
←Rate | 06-08-2012 13:20 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always be thankful for another day of life because you never know when it's gonna be your last.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 13:04 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am not a mirror: I see you completely differently from the way you see yourself. Bear that in mind next time you want to ask me how you look.
←Rate | 07-19-2011 14:18 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Told my boss I would be turning in my badge and my gun. He said you work in IT, why do you have a gun?
←Rate | 03-22-2013 11:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coffee without caffeine. Beer without alcohol. Milk without fat. What's next ? Marriage without sex?
←Rate | 07-28-2011 06:34 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not that I don't trust you, I just have a strong belief in your ability to f*ck up!
←Rate | 06-27-2011 03:54 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I walk around with a toothpick in my mouth so crimininals know not to mess with me.
←Rate | 09-29-2012 16:00 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I did not lie. I was strategically misinforming you.
←Rate | 10-01-2012 07:47 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my khaki shorts, I need to give a couple more shakes after peeing
←Rate | 01-30-2013 13:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




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