Aaron Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Being a lot more reckless these days, ever since I found that 1-UP mushroom.
←Rate | 10-04-2010 11:56 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon My pessimism has never failed me, but I'm sure someday it will.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 13:23 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever become rich and famous, I won't forget my friends. They will be a fond and nostalgic memory.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 18:43 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear IRS: Please cancel my subscription.
←Rate | 02-19-2010 09:31 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my girlfriend's hallucinating. She keeps telling me she's seeing other people.
←Rate | 10-16-2010 10:51 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I'm giving up drinking. Hard liquor. On Wednesdays. In June. Next year. (Maybe.)
←Rate | 11-02-2010 23:14 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found 'mute' by now.
←Rate | 11-05-2010 12:04 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon For the record, you'll need a turntable needle.
←Rate | 04-23-2013 17:54 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Found a cigarette butt next to the mousetrap in my room. Like he sat there and thought about it.
←Rate | 02-23-2012 19:18 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon My car goes from 0 to 60 in five minutes.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 18:21 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list...
←Rate | 03-16-2010 15:38 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not "When Wild Animals Attack!" as much as it is "When Stupid People Get Bit."
←Rate | 11-08-2010 15:10 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's my dream to take a stretch limo to a drive thru, pay at the first window & pick up my food at the second window without moving my car.
←Rate | 09-11-2011 14:46 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seems like I can't go anywhere in my house without somebody recognizing me.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 15:05 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Write all complaints legibly in this space -> []
←Rate | 04-17-2010 17:19 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is . . . the tomorrow you thought about yesterday.
←Rate | 05-24-2010 18:22 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life coach just benched me.
←Rate | 11-22-2010 18:17 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I live every day like it's my first. There's a lot of crying and sleeping involved.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 22:31 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life can be summed up in an overwhelming urge to wash my hands.
←Rate | 02-26-2011 14:58 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish getting old meant growing a majestic pair of antlers.
←Rate | 03-19-2011 18:00 by Aaron Comments (0)  




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