Baddie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When I see a guy tweeting nothing but sweet quotes for women, I feel bad for him. It has to suck never having a girlfriend.
←Rate | 05-26-2012 14:13 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I turn up the car radio, that's a sign to shut up… not talk louder and ruin the song.
←Rate | 05-26-2012 14:10 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I had a nickel for every time I wanted to sell weed.
←Rate | 05-26-2012 14:07 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry I upset you. I'll try not to be right next time.
←Rate | 05-26-2012 14:03 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Checked out Instagram. It's mostly pics of what people had for dinner. I didn't want to feel left out so I took a pic of the sh!t I just took.
←Rate | 05-26-2012 14:02 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A day without love, sex or booze is just another day closer to death.
←Rate | 05-24-2012 15:09 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A naughty thought is a terrible thing to waste…
←Rate | 05-24-2012 14:43 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fellaz: Be the man you pretend to be when you're trying to get pu$$y.
←Rate | 05-24-2012 14:39 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never judge a girls body from a picture of her face.
←Rate | 05-20-2012 01:31 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon 5 missed calls from your girlfriend means you have missed a good night. 5 missed calls from your wife means....that you are screwed!
←Rate | 05-19-2012 16:42 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think holding in a fart is difficult, try holding in an ethnic joke that JUST crosses the line.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 13:49 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon People are tired of hearing about my girlfriend troubles, especially my wife.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 12:37 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the most sensitive part of your body while m@sturbating? Your ears because you're listening for footsteps ... in case someone walks in on you.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 11:54 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon WIFE: Honey, before we got married, you used to buy me expensive gifts and take me out for dinner and now you don't. Why is that? HUSBAND: B!tch please! Have you ever seen a fisherman giving worms to a fish he has already caught?
←Rate | 05-18-2012 13:03 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it's safe to assume that Nick Stahl is dead from an overdose and his body is probably out in the Nevada desert laying against a Joshua tree by now....I mean his character from Terminator wasn't too put together either.
←Rate | 05-16-2012 18:29 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your dad once had a shop towel that he used to clean up oil and grease. That towel grew up to be Russell Brand.
←Rate | 05-16-2012 15:41 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Listen. You can keep retaking all the pictures you want, but that's what your face looks like.
←Rate | 05-16-2012 14:21 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yesterday I posted "Happy Almost Mother's Day!" on this chick I grew up with's Facebook page, guess I was the only one who remembered her abortion.
←Rate | 05-14-2012 16:16 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've dedicated my life to getting under age prostitutes off the streets. For an hour or so usually.
←Rate | 05-14-2012 15:53 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't know this but right after you leave the restaurant with your crying baby the rest of us applaud.
←Rate | 05-14-2012 15:11 by Baddie Comments (0)  




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