andrew jackson Funny Status Messages
Search results for status messages containing 'andrew jackson': View All Messages
Page: 7 of 24
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Chips have little nutritional value. That's why you need to eat the whole bag.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Calm down, different flavored Oreos. Nobody wants to make that kind of decision. Regular or Double stuff was hard enough.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Just tore the tag off my mattress and there's nothing the feds can do about it. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger's property and make a non-negotiable demand.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
When they named Newfoundland, it's like they just weren't even trying.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Dressed my snowman up as a security guard, and then I put him out in front of a snow bank.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't sweat the medium or large stuff either. Stop perspiring on everything. Take your sweaty butt elsewhere.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
My favorite thing to do on Facebook is to get in a long conversation with someone and then delete all my comments to make them look crazy.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
if I could trade places with anyone for a day it would have to be on the day I die. I wouldn't want to be me on that day
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That's not lazy, that's proactive.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
The best part about being a pathological liar is flying my helicopter to my private island.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Attention people that only post inspirational quotes: we know you're nuts.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Just overheard someone say they need an "escape goat" for their project & I can't decide if they're a complete idiot or an evil genius.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Contort my hands into gang signs before the rigor mortis sets in so I die legit
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Shocked by the 16% approval rating of congress held by Americans in June 2016. That can't be right. Who are these psychos in the 16 percent?
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I wish I were full of tacos instead of emotions.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kinda like my toaster
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
One day my fridge will take revenge on me by opening my bedroom door every half hour, staring at me for a few minutes and then leave.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
All my passwords are protected by amnesia.
[Search Results] [View All Messages]