Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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Page: 7 of 6294

   messageicon I wasn’t dropped as a baby, but I’ve been making up for it ever since.
←Rate | 08-23-2022 09:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's taken 66 years for me to realize two things: Pizza and steak are overrated.
←Rate | 08-23-2022 09:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Summer is not officially over, so settle down you pumpkin spice perverts!
←Rate | 08-23-2022 09:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do actual ladies exist anymore, or is it all just washed up man Ioathing bar sIut bimbos flipping the bird in their profile pics?
←Rate | 08-23-2022 09:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Facebook reels are mostly chunky broads stuffed into clothes like a sausage.
←Rate | 08-23-2022 08:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon For some reason, the press seems more concerned with "BIack Man Killed By Police", than "Police KiIIed By BIack Man."
←Rate | 08-22-2022 18:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do they make it so hard to dig the candy out of trail mix?
←Rate | 08-22-2022 15:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I like the new game of thrones show but I don’t think the laugh track is necessary
←Rate | 08-22-2022 14:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My doctor says I only have one diabete.
←Rate | 08-22-2022 14:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My neightbor accross the hall fed his pet snake a viagra now it's a walkin stick
←Rate | 08-22-2022 14:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing..
←Rate | 08-22-2022 14:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I was a judge, I’d keep a pile of walnuts with me on the table at all times. If I’m gonna use the gavel, I might as well eat some delicious walnuts.
←Rate | 08-22-2022 14:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.
←Rate | 08-22-2022 14:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon due to unforeseen circumstances I just quit my job as a psychic
←Rate | 08-22-2022 14:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon what did people do with their wet phones before rice was invented
←Rate | 08-22-2022 14:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate when I order too large a portion of ribs that it tips my car over and my modern stone age family has to get back home on foot.
←Rate | 08-22-2022 14:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's crazy how people get up at 5 am to workout. I don't even get up at 5 am to pee, I just stay there and suffer...
←Rate | 08-20-2022 17:52 by Gabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon I eat wheat even though I am allergic to it. You might say I'm a gluten for punishment.
←Rate | 08-19-2022 20:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’m at the point in life where if a girl dresses up in a french maid outfit I’d be more happy if she actually just cleaned my house for me..
←Rate | 08-19-2022 14:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Forest Whitaker's left eye has more self-control than I do.
←Rate | 08-19-2022 09:39 Comments (0)  

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