Moon Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I just got gas for $1.99! And no it wasn't at Taco Bell.
←Rate | 02-03-2020 08:01 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think those status updates that's say copy and paste this status so I'll know who's reading my status are stupid. Copy and paste this status if you agree.
←Rate | 02-04-2020 13:58 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I decided not to host the Oscars this year and see they couldn't find anyone to replace me.
←Rate | 02-10-2020 08:45 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Taking things to the thrift store. But first I have to drive around with it in the back of my car for the next 3 months.
←Rate | 02-12-2020 12:29 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Valintimes, as I love you more then I can express on a website sent by means of a plastic artificial intelligence device <3
←Rate | 02-14-2020 11:30 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Chalkboards are a remarkable invention.
←Rate | 02-16-2020 20:35 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon What came first the chicken or the egg all depends on whether or not I'm having breakfast or dinner.
←Rate | 02-17-2020 11:29 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon The scariest words a man can ever hear from a woman are "Notice anything different?"
←Rate | 02-23-2020 09:13 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm going to get married on February 29th so I only have to remember our anniversary once every 4 years.
←Rate | 02-23-2020 22:39 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I like using my speakerphone but hate how it literally spells everything I say exclamation point period
←Rate | 03-01-2020 11:43 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's raining it's pouring and.......I never claimed to be a poet.
←Rate | 03-03-2020 13:57 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon If the world was flat like some people say my girlfriend's cat would have pushed me off the edge years ago.
←Rate | 03-05-2020 16:00 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon One good thing about daylight savings time is the clock in my car is finally correct!
←Rate | 03-08-2020 13:08 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon One day we'll all be just a memory in people's lives, the trick is to make sure you do everything humanly possible to be a good memory. By, The cashier at Chipotle
←Rate | 03-10-2020 15:48 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Everyone sing along! Don't stand.... don't stand.... don't stand so close to me...
←Rate | 03-26-2020 11:26 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Funny how by doing the responsible thing by staying home the more homeless you look.
←Rate | 03-26-2020 21:30 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon And suddenly people don't wonder any more if your living life to the fullest or have completely given up when you walk into the supermarket wearing pajamas.
←Rate | 04-08-2020 10:10 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just burnt 330 calories in about 30 minutes. And thats the last time I look at facebook with a pizza in the oven!
←Rate | 04-18-2020 00:10 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Who remembers when "Never before my coffee" used to be called social distancing?
←Rate | 04-18-2020 15:19 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Maybe my New Year's resolution to hang out with more than three of my Facebook friends in 2020 was asking for too much?
←Rate | 04-29-2020 13:22 by Moon Comments (0)  

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