jitney Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon That moment when my wife snooping around on my phone and accidently FB live recorded herself. when confronted she still claims it wasnt her... priceless
←Rate | 12-10-2016 19:41 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon All this negativity in the world and I still remain Positive! -Magic Johnson
←Rate | 11-27-2013 13:45 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Should Dave Ramsey's website take credit cards?.... I wonder...
←Rate | 11-17-2014 01:07 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon If only they had and Olympic event for Facebook, my FB friend would win Gold everytime in the Drama event..
←Rate | 08-09-2012 13:40 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon My 10-top All-star Celebrities on Drugs list is Ruined!!! Anybody wanna trade Drew Barrymore??
←Rate | 02-11-2012 23:28 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Reasons 2 why Florida is considered the "Pitbull" State by the Press....You can expect 3 things to go wrong during voting: machine failures, not enough ballots printed out, and complicated procedures with late ballots count
←Rate | 11-07-2012 01:36 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was in the backyard with my wife.A bird dropped its poo on her shoulder. She yelled: Disgusting. .. get me paper towel or toilet paper. I looked up in the sky and said: it is probably a mile away. Plus, birds do not wipe their aasss.
←Rate | 10-05-2015 13:51 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want! They don't know my life! They don't know what I've been through!!!
←Rate | 03-11-2013 02:02 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Government: Trickling Poverty up, so every one is Equal today......
←Rate | 08-15-2012 16:39 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why are there no mirrors in the self checkout?.....Slow people, take your time to get that jokke....
←Rate | 11-17-2014 20:00 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon *Breathing hard* Today, I finally ran for 1 mile without stopping. STUPID ice cream man just kept driving even though I waved my money in the air...
←Rate | 06-22-2012 05:46 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Repaired a vacuum the other day. It was easy,,, I just stuck one of Obamacare.org sticker on it... Now it sucks just fine
←Rate | 11-05-2013 20:36 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Remember when Joan Rivers didnt look a day over $225,000
←Rate | 09-04-2014 18:18 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Cant Stop Crying :( Maybe I should get away from these onions.
←Rate | 02-11-2012 21:32 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Can Ford stop running Black friday ads already...its freaken Sunday already you a-holes!
←Rate | 12-01-2013 22:01 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm furious at how fast people jokkke about celebrity deaths on the internet.
←Rate | 12-01-2013 01:17 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just told the waitress her arss look like two kids playing under a blanket...
←Rate | 03-06-2012 22:51 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was at the super market. I bought 2 dozen eggs. I only looked stupid pushing 2 baskets. I would have been really stupid If I put all my eggs in 1 basket.
←Rate | 01-11-2016 21:15 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon She says that she needs a bigger closet, but she has nothing to wear.
←Rate | 01-11-2016 19:54 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Birds born in a cage thinks flying is an illness!
←Rate | 05-10-2013 18:46 by Jitney Comments (0)  

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