abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages
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If I could slow down real life , like the fights scenes on a fighting movie . I would punch people more often .
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A stark reminder that we're just guests on this planet.
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If the world is gonna end, I've got to start spending money faster. Anyone up for a party?
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No matter what people think of you, walk around with your head held high. Multiple chins are not cute.
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You know what's amazing? "how I met your mother"
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Nobody's phone is ever off. They're lying.
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Real men like curves; Only dogs like bones.
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The Only good thing that can come from a kim kardashian song, is a kim kardashian music video!
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It's rush hour and a million people are going West and a million are going East. We should either swap jobs or swap houses
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if you are reading this status between 7AM and 5 PM--Get a Job!! OR-- Get back to WORK!!
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Dont smoke...there are cooler ways to die.
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Girls gain weight because their brains can't hold all the info so it spreads to other places. Therefore she's not fat, she's a genius.
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Happy Discount Chocolate Tuesday!
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plan for the day. 1. get off work and drink till Monday. 2.figure the rest out later
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Inside me is a skinny woman screaming to get out. I can usually shut her up with a cookie.
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If you're in a relationship for sex it's like buying an airplane for the peanuts.
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I wonder what happened to that guy from the 90's who sang that song about barely breathing. I hope he's OK!
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just bought a new pack of socks to avoid doing laundry tonight.
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It's a hard thing not to trust the earth beneath your feet.
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I'll bet you the President gets his mail today.
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