StonerDudee Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I hate jokes that rely on visual imagery. I've had it right up to here with them.
←Rate | 07-08-2014 13:20 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook needs a 'Wow that's the dumbest f*cking thing I've ever heard, you should be punched in the throat' button.
←Rate | 05-27-2013 12:56 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship.
←Rate | 06-16-2012 17:19 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
←Rate | 08-16-2015 19:49 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's hilarious when textbooks try too hard at being racially diverse. "Brad, Latisha, Pablo and Kwan were doing a math problem..."
←Rate | 08-22-2013 19:47 by StonerDudee Comments (2)  


   messageicon That "speaking to another human being" feature on my phone has got to be my least favorite feature.
←Rate | 10-19-2012 10:11 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon The older I get the more I realise there are no grown ups and nobody knows what the f*ck they're doing.
←Rate | 05-08-2015 01:44 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can not be held responsible for what my face does when you talk.
←Rate | 07-09-2015 02:40 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between "I do" and "Do me" is the happily ever after part.
←Rate | 10-20-2012 12:26 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Karma is when you throw a banana in Mario Kart and you end up slipping on it.
←Rate | 10-22-2012 16:53 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I learned all my dance moves from the paternity test episodes of Maury.
←Rate | 05-29-2014 18:53 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's getting harder and harder to tell Dog the Bounty Hunter and his wife apart.
←Rate | 10-27-2014 12:00 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon All my life I've wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
←Rate | 07-27-2012 12:36 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guys at Home Depot must take classes to know exactly what I meant by "the little thing next to that one piece with the round thing."
←Rate | 10-01-2013 11:14 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are they called One Direction? Looks to me like they go both ways.
←Rate | 10-18-2012 20:33 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim, Kourtney and Khloe. The only KKK that will let bIack guys inside them.
←Rate | 10-25-2013 21:40 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Excuse me," I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, "You have some semen on the back of your jacket." "I'm sure it's not semen," she said, "It's probably yogurt." "It's definitely semen," I said, "I don't ejaculate yogurt."
←Rate | 01-18-2013 18:20 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when kids think I don't care about whatever the hell they were just talking about.
←Rate | 10-19-2012 01:40 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people you know were dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window.
←Rate | 12-12-2012 21:38 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon My d*ck was in the Guinness Book of World Records but then the librarian told me to take it out
←Rate | 11-14-2013 16:22 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  




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