Gripenfelter Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon There's a contaminated water scare in my town and I haven't used my bidet in two days because I don't want E. coli in my bum.
←Rate | 01-30-2015 00:19 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was a cr4ck addict, I might drive to another state to drop off a laptop and then forget about it.
←Rate | 03-22-2022 12:23 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I should be ashamed of my behaviour. Just to be clear, I should be, but I'm not.
←Rate | 05-15-2021 13:17 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’ve decided to raise my kids gender neutral. Not because I’m embracing any LGBTLMNOP agenda but more because I like buying stuff on sale.
←Rate | 07-11-2023 17:38 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Which vaccine is the one with extra microchips in it? Cuz I wanna be able to control my appliances with my mind.
←Rate | 05-10-2021 13:38 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dad said I would always go down in history. He was right. I also fingered a girl in geography.
←Rate | 08-18-2021 12:16 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's my birthday! I'm finally at that age where I can switch from health food to preservatives.
←Rate | 12-20-2022 10:43 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ah yes, it's that wonderful time of year between Christmas and New Years that I like to call "The Festive Perineum".
←Rate | 12-27-2022 12:21 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon New Lockdown laws...Screw child labour laws. Going to gather up the neighbourhood kids and build an ARK....actually scratch that, lumber pricing is ridiculous...going to build a Death Star.
←Rate | 05-07-2021 19:36 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kissing someone while they are asleep is one of the purest displays of love...unless you're in prison.
←Rate | 07-01-2024 18:09 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  



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