Czovczov Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Czovczov': View All Messages
Page: 7 of 45

   messageicon Man kneeling by the bed, Wife says,"What are you praying for? " Husband says: "Guidance. " Wife says, "Pray for stiffness, I'll guide the damn thing myself!"
←Rate | 11-29-2011 10:18 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Didn't leave home today. It was too peopley out there.
←Rate | 03-29-2013 14:56 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once I'd like to see a stripper do the "Carlton" on stage.
←Rate | 02-08-2015 09:30 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationship status: I've developed a high tolerance for pepper spray.
←Rate | 05-07-2015 14:02 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attractive women post selfies and refer to themselves as ugly. As a group, if we begin agreeing with them we could stop that sh*t quick.
←Rate | 02-10-2014 12:53 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't ask to use my Phone, and then start going through my photos, contacts, messages and call history, unless you want to meet God before I do.
←Rate | 12-05-2011 08:16 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Feeling stressed about something? Ask yourself, “Will this really matter after I've had a few drinks?”
←Rate | 02-19-2012 10:02 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon My GPS sighs and rolls its eyes every time it says "Recalculating".
←Rate | 07-01-2012 15:29 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are talking to me and I appear as if I'm attentively listening, I'm probably just silently correcting your grammar in my head.
←Rate | 04-08-2012 04:15 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon A huge ass spider crawled across my bed and now I can't sleep because the firefighters are here putting out the mattress flames.
←Rate | 05-26-2012 14:47 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon For 20 yrs Jay-Z referred to other men's daughters as b!tches & hoes then decides his own daughter Princess Baby Jesus is exempt from the game!
←Rate | 01-14-2012 02:47 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got a lot more sleep back when phones were only used for calling people.
←Rate | 01-19-2013 12:58 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I once won an argument with a woman…in this dream I had.
←Rate | 08-04-2012 13:38 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The smallest compliment from the right person, changes the whole game.
←Rate | 10-29-2012 13:00 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon In college I had 3 girlfriends at the same time. 10 years and a wife later, I have 0 girlfriends. Stay in school kids.
←Rate | 05-19-2013 11:02 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part about waking up Sunday morning is knowing that sex can be more than a quickie and you can sip your coffee instead of gulping it.
←Rate | 02-12-2012 11:56 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Screw coffee, I want whatever this happy singing bird is on. Times three.
←Rate | 02-21-2014 07:59 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was seeing a therapist for trust issues, but I had to quit going when I found out he was seeing other patients.
←Rate | 07-06-2012 13:27 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex is great and all, but have you ever had someone scratch your back exactly where it itches?
←Rate | 06-24-2015 13:44 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to "make it a double".
←Rate | 12-26-2012 11:09 by Czovczov Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left