Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Due to popular demand, the Kansas City Chiefs are changing their name to the Kansas City Swifties.

   I renamed my toilet Jim instead of John.. people are really impressed when I tell them I go to the Jim several times a day

   Ikai horror game

   Chapel of Anticipation elden ring

   dimanna word

   I went scuba diving once and the instructor pointed out a shark and I swam toward it. When we got back up top on the boat he asked, "I pointed out a shark and you swam toward it? What the fuck?" Without missing a beat my wife said, "He's been swimming to

   STOCK MARKETS ARE CRASHING, JOBS NUMBERS ARE TERRIBLE, WE ARE HEADING TO WORLD WAR III, AND WE HAVE TWO OF THE MOST INCOMPETENT "LEADERS" IN HISTORY. THIS IS NOT GOOD!!! Donald Trump Aug 05, 2023

   It took one election for Dems to go from making electric cars mandatory…to burning them. SMH.

   SNL, Kimmel, Fallon, The Daily Show, Meyers, Colbert... Each has an audience share of .12 to .15. That's a joke. Maher has a bigger audience, but he's actually a moderate, you misinformed dolt.

   I know you're Canadian, daddyf**ker.

   Если ты до сих пор не понял, что мы русские и гордимся этим, то ты реально тупой 🇷🇺

   Today I took a good long honest look in the mirror and I did not like what I saw. (No I'm not feeling guilty about anything, I just look like crap.)

   Eli's coming, hide your hocker, Eli's coming, hide your hocker.

   big butt

   Deowent 12345

   My boss asked me to write down two things I liked about my job. Apparently lunch time and quitting time are not the right answers.

   Everybody's a little bit crazy... It's just that some of us aren't afraid to take it out for a walk in public.

   Lochore meadows

   Restaurant word

   What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes!