Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6305 of 6370
Milton's stapler!
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09-21-2009 15:40
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thinks 'friends with benefits' should came with a health care package..
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09-21-2009 15:04 by Yaj
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feels like something funny is gonna happen...I'm sitting next to a blackman, whiteman and a chineseman. I'm just waiting on the punchline!
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09-21-2009 09:48
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if you always stop to smell the roses, sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
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09-21-2009 03:18 by DD
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me+alcohol+nintendo64=profanity out the ass
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09-20-2009 22:39 by that guy
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Hey dude... There's your car!
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09-20-2009 21:20 by Kal-El
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wishes you were beer
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09-20-2009 20:20 by LB
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would like to observe a moment of silence for all the innocent brain cells that lost their lives over the weekend.
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09-20-2009 20:20 by LB
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thinks if ballrina's were jusy a little taller, they wouln't have to dance on their tippy toe's as much!
thinks real men should never say the words "sippy cup".
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09-20-2009 08:29
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thinks it would really help Jennifer Anniston's career if she would star in a few romantic comedies.
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09-20-2009 08:26
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reminds you that people will believe anything if it's whispered.
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09-20-2009 08:26
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saw Mike Tyson at the airport, I thought about going over to talk to him but I was concerned he would just take an earful and then leave.............
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09-19-2009 12:18 by Vance
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remembers when "google" was a word used to describe the eyes on pom-pom critters back in grade school!
life is like the Mets I just can't win
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09-18-2009 21:56
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running dangerously low on cheetos
Wishes life was like a Nintendo game, if you had a problem you just take it out and blow on it. And everything would be fine
We were strangers when we met, now were even stranger!!
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09-18-2009 13:24 by Angela
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if you ever feel bad or depressed, just remember you were once the fastest most victorious sperm in the bunch!!
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09-18-2009 13:23 by Angela
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money cant by harmony and happiness, but I can buy rum!!
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09-18-2009 13:22 by Angela
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