Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6302 of 6370
It's weekend! So drink triple.. see double.. act single!
←Rate |
10-02-2009 10:12
Comments (0)
if you ever feel bad or depressed, just remember you were once the fastest most victorious sperm in the bunch!!
←Rate |
10-02-2009 02:24 by Aravindh
Comments (0)
is it just me or does anybody else miss the days when music on the radio sounded good, made sense, and actually required talent to make?????
←Rate |
10-01-2009 19:45 by Vinny
Comments (0)
.............ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
←Rate |
10-01-2009 17:30 by Heather
Comments (0)
thinks that drinking beer is the second-most satisfying thing a guy can do for himself with one hand.
←Rate |
10-01-2009 15:47
Comments (0)
wondering why is there someone in the fitting room at Macy's shouting "we're all out of toilet paper!!"
←Rate |
10-01-2009 14:37 by trini
Comments (0)
wondering if my bed was a circle would I still wake up on the wrong side of the bed?
←Rate |
10-01-2009 14:07 by Tammy
Comments (0)
If this was 1999, would you have ever thought 10 years from now you could sit on the toilet while updating your facebook status???
←Rate |
10-01-2009 09:03
Comments (0)
thinks that they should change the name of Starbucks to Fivebucks
←Rate |
10-01-2009 09:01 by Tim
Comments (0)
If I were an animal, I'd eat vegetarians
←Rate |
10-01-2009 01:16 by Piney
Comments (0)
Hitch hikers don't find it as amusing as I do when I give them the thumbs up as I drive by.
←Rate |
09-30-2009 23:01 by Brantly
Comments (0)
feels like I am at a crossroad. I know you should take the road less traveled... but then who do you hang out with?
←Rate |
09-30-2009 15:48
Comments (0)
just risked a car accident to type this
←Rate |
09-30-2009 13:16 by somebody
Comments (0)
Sometimes, I wish emails from my family had an *unsubscribe* button at the bottom.
←Rate |
09-30-2009 05:08 by Tiffany
Comments (0)
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words.
←Rate |
09-30-2009 05:07 by Tiffany
Comments (0)
Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody's drunk in the kitchen.
←Rate |
09-29-2009 23:04 by Seagren
Comments (0)
Today, my friend from school was saying how her 'nano' died. I quickly responded by saying "so? recharge it." Turns out she didn't say 'nano', she said 'nana'. dammit....
←Rate |
09-29-2009 23:01 by Seagren
Comments (0)
When ever you are single, all you see are couples, but when ever you are in a couple, all you see are hookers.
Lifetime, television for women. Yet for some reason women are always getting beaten on that channel.
←Rate |
09-29-2009 22:59 by Seagren
Comments (0)
says if it wasn't for the last minute, I wouldn't get anything done!
←Rate |
09-29-2009 22:08
Comments (0)