Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6290 of 6370
some people leave the "smart" out of smartass!
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10-21-2009 13:18
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Karma is my religon and Earl Hickey is my god =D
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10-21-2009 12:41
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Your're born, you live, you die, figure out whatever the hell you want to do in between...
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10-21-2009 12:40
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I want to work at a day spa, I bet I could give a hell of a facial!
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10-21-2009 11:57 by 514x0r
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Messin with Sasquatch
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10-21-2009 11:03 by Jon
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THANK GOD THEY FOUND BALLOON BOY! THOUGHT MICHAEL JACKSON WAS ORDERING TAKE OUT FROM HEAVEN.
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10-21-2009 10:05
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god is a myth created by those who need someone to blame
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10-21-2009 09:35
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Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me? Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
happy that the "balloon boy" is safe...for a minute there I thought maybe Michael Jackson ordered carry-out from heaven!
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10-20-2009 23:10
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Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect -and I don't live to be- but before you start pointing fingers...make sure you hands are clean!
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10-20-2009 23:04
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When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear
When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.
sick of people saying "im so sick I feel like ive been hit by a truck" well, I have a truck if they really want to know the feeling! :)
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10-20-2009 20:28
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wondering why there are Interstate highways in Hawaii?
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10-20-2009 20:26
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wonders if the local Palm Reader that went out of business saw it coming?
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10-20-2009 20:18 by Piney
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Sometimes you have to be completely torn down before you can be rebuilt.
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10-20-2009 19:45
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At the peak of the storm, the shallowness of the root structure is revealed.
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10-20-2009 19:45
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Forgiveness = revenge completed!
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10-20-2009 19:44
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if you dont like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk!
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10-20-2009 18:48
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wondering if he can grow weed on farmville and sell it on mafia wars........Moscow....
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10-20-2009 18:00
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