Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6288 of 6370
How to annoy people: Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy".
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10-23-2009 10:26 by G.
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ǝǝɹʇ ɐ ɯoɹɟ ƃuıƃuɐɥ sı
Once had an awkward moment just to see how it felt
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10-23-2009 05:46
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Stuck on Band-Aid brand cause Band-Aid Stuck on me.
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10-23-2009 02:29
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that anyone caught taking a photo of themselves in a mirror, shall be slapped...
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10-23-2009 02:15 by 8 )
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has two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
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10-23-2009 00:16
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wants to get on the wagon, but the 15 vodkas are making it mildly difficult!
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10-22-2009 22:54 by Mr. Craig
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99% of women say they don't like men who wear leather pants. Which works out perfectly, since 100% of men who wear leather pants don't like Women.
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10-22-2009 22:10 by mikedft
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giving my liver a pat on the back, thanks for holding up this weekend
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10-22-2009 20:50
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saving the planet by tailgating his Silverado behind a Prius.
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10-22-2009 20:42 by Piney
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ɐɥɐɥ ˙snʇɐʇs uʍop ǝpısdn ʎɯ ʎq pǝʇɐuıɔsɐɟ ǝɹɐ noʎ ʇɐɥʇ ʇɔɐɟ ǝɥʇ uɐ
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10-22-2009 20:09
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"Almost" and the "same" are almost the same thing!
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10-22-2009 20:03
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you may have won this stare contest... SUN! But I'll definitely be triumphant tomorrow! ...now time for the moon
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10-22-2009 20:02
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says eat your school, stay in drugs, and don't do vegetables. :]
about to try cruise control in reverse
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10-22-2009 18:31 by TeeWuu
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having a most excellent adventure with Bill and Ted
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10-22-2009 18:19
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sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
gonna bring her girlfriend...........c you at the hotel room ;-)
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10-22-2009 16:33
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Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.
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10-22-2009 13:22 by Amelie
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When you see a married couple coming down the street, the one who is two or three steps ahead is the one that's mad.