Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6191 of 6370
Someone stole my identity...its okay though, they gave it back when my kids called him daddy
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01-11-2010 15:44
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took a viagra pill today but it got caught in my throat and not I have a stiff neck.
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01-11-2010 15:34
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I'm worse at doin my best
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01-11-2010 14:05
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says the hardest part of being independent is that people may think you're better off alone.
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01-11-2010 11:05 by bot
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says the sad part of being strong is that nobody bothers to ask when you're hurt.
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01-11-2010 11:04 by bot
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just her or did anyone else think we would be living like the Jetson's in 2010?!
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01-11-2010 10:53
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it just her or did anyone else thing we would be living like the Jetsons in 2010?!
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01-11-2010 10:48
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Honk if you love Jesus! Text while you drive if you want to meet him!
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01-11-2010 10:28
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wonders if Conan O'Brien feels like the red headed step child of NBC? .....oh wait, he does have red hair!
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01-11-2010 10:16
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"A lion attacks a bull of eats him in just a few minutes.When he is done he lets out a loud roar.while he is roaring a hunter comes and shoots the lion killing him instatly.Moral of the story:when you are full of bull, keep your mouth shut!!
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01-11-2010 10:03
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Winter always reminds to think ahead for the springtime...meaning...gotta find somewhere to hide the bodies when the snow thaws.......
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01-11-2010 09:56 by ds
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Dont think he gonna watch the african nations cup... 347 shots and only 3 on target..?
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01-11-2010 08:44
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you are part of my 99 problems.
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01-11-2010 08:09
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Can Kill Two Stones With One Bird.
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01-11-2010 05:42
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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did
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01-11-2010 02:44 by Rae
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A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it
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01-11-2010 02:39 by Rachael
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Has a huge Migraine.... I think this is gods way of saying quit laughing at Hellen Keller Jokes.
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01-11-2010 02:33 by Rachael
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just because I busted a nut it doesn't mean you made me cum
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01-11-2010 01:22
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thinks a balanced meal is chocolate in both hands
I swear am going to climb my neighbours fence, steal his fu*king barking a*s dog, put it in my yard and see how he likes to be kept awake all night long.
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01-10-2010 23:16
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