Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Who wants to go to Antarctica to see Penguins......I am sure they will land up in Delhi this year in search of COLD!!!!

   petrified and dismayed. Since when does the boogeyman where a cassock, a white collar and carry a book with a red ribbon marker?

   Jake and Vienna acted like they are already married.

   officially erasing all BOYS from her contacts!

   Awww! Isn't that sweet. Everyone's so in love from Facebook how long thats going to last.. like in relationship but its complicated WTF

   I’m not saying I failed as a parent, I’m just saying my son closes the cereal box without rolling up the bag.

   Whew ... made it through December and managed to stay below Venezuela’s debt level

   Another school shooting? Boy, I'm sure glad I didn't go to school with a bunch of white kids....

   LOOKING TO PURCHASE A STRIPPER POLE, USED PREFERRED ( I like to lick them ;) :P )

   Let me guess. The whistleblower is un patriotic because he was doing what he thought is right for the country, not blind loyalty.

   My Mom texted me, "What does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?" I answered, "I don't know, love you, and talk to you later." She said, "Ok I'll ask your sisters."

   Oh yeah, well this girl I know had her baby shower in the rec room in the projects. I wish it was a joke to, but it is not... lol

   I was talking SOCCER, not RUGBY...Stay on subject...EEJIT!!

   Let's refer these annoying mereeecans as south Canadians. Game set match

   Good guys with guns are all over the place. because they are to insecure to take matters into their own hands.

   I have "plan B" dates....everytime I make the plans, my date wants to abort & not go through with it

   Only people who buy Corvettes are 40 year olds fearing mid life and his wifes social disabilities. Buy a real car.

   Why people diss Wal-Mart? Is it so great that it has the most number of haters?

   I don't care how hot you are, honey...if I go to "toss the salad" and you didn't clean up right...it's over.

   Did anyone else leave the new Dark Knight movie looking forward more to the next Anne Hathaway movie than another sub par attempt at the Dark Knight