Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   - Kim Jong-il says to Brasil players: Oul lockets have vely long lange!

   0110001001101111011011110110001001110011 hint: binary

   I spent my life searching the world trying to find myself; and when I finally did....I forgot why I was looking!

   watching eclipse, ain't eclipse suppose to release 30 June 2010.... I must be lucky

   Some Harvard guy said that acid would open our minds, pot wouldn't hurt us, and cocaine was benign.

   gone and she left this message to carry on. Those who know her know her well and those who befriended her can go to hell!

   I just want it to snow already! I'm dying to make snow angels face down!

   getting half a D is better than getting no D

   wondering.... If they are old enough to go to the store.... are they old enough to get bread?

   eBay makes things so much more simple and quicker when your purchasing...

   admit it. We ALL got a little Gary Busey inside us...

   a lot of women stick their cell phone in their bra now days....i guess that makes it an "over the shoulder phone holder"

   Sometimes when I have contractors come over to work at my house I feel like giving them a tip. But then I stop and think...why stop at just the "tip"?

   I want to admit my mistakes, but people might think that I'm an idiot.

   I can't win for nothing! Parent just told me I need to eat cause I'm getting to skinny. This was the same parent that told me 2 yrs ago I was fat and stop eating!

   When life gives you lemons, get some Tequila and call me

   I think the hives on my arm are trying to start a bluegrass band.

   Just realized I havn't checked in on my Tamagotchi for 14 years. Wish my wife could be the same way.

   I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but... I'm Batman.

   Of course I'm into sports, I love surfing :-) ....surfing on the Internet, that is :P