Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Prince Harry is dating his cousin? Aren't we all "distant cousins" in some sense?

   First Zuckerberg steals the concept of Facebook now he tried to steal Steve Jobs way of presenting....

   Today is Moon Day and Ugly Truck Day. So if you own an Ugly Truck, please feel free to Moon people today, but for safety's sake please only do it at red lights.

   Impossible is Nothing , Average is Nowhere and Mediocrity is for Others !!

   my neighbor bought a pumpkin and carved it. I asked him, " why didnt you make it look like it had teeth"? he said, " I was trying to make it look like my wife".

   Does Angry Birds get it's name because the birds are angry at you when you can't beat a level or because it makes you angry when you can't?

   Happy National Caramel Day everyone!

   my mixes are tighter than your skinny jeans kid.

   amazed how unexpectedly and rapidly things can change. I am Gizmo and water was just splashed on me.

   The man from U.N.C.L.E.

   trading in his Chevy for a Cadillac-ack-ack-ack-ack

   use to be a dime or quarter..but now here's $50..buy a prepaid cell phone and call someone who cares

   - Kim Jong-il says to Brasil players: Oul lockets have vely long lange!

   0110001001101111011011110110001001110011 hint: binary

   I spent my life searching the world trying to find myself; and when I finally did....I forgot why I was looking!

   watching eclipse, ain't eclipse suppose to release 30 June 2010.... I must be lucky

   Some Harvard guy said that acid would open our minds, pot wouldn't hurt us, and cocaine was benign.

   gone and she left this message to carry on. Those who know her know her well and those who befriended her can go to hell!

   I just want it to snow already! I'm dying to make snow angels face down!

   getting half a D is better than getting no D