Baddie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon One thing we can be sure of is Adam was not a doctor. Otherwise, the apple would have kept him away.
←Rate | 12-02-2014 01:20 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life is just one long improvisation.
←Rate | 12-01-2014 12:50 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Charles Manson can get married in prison I should at least be allowed to text at red lights
←Rate | 12-01-2014 09:03 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t text and drive. You’ll misspell a lot of words and people will be like wow I don’t respect this guy.
←Rate | 11-28-2014 01:56 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm always two drinks away from digging up my backyard to look for dinosaur bones
←Rate | 11-28-2014 01:12 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.
←Rate | 11-27-2014 01:50 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Haven't seen a Marilyn Monroe quote in a while. I hope she's okay.
←Rate | 11-27-2014 01:35 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lisa in Accounts suggested we play Xmas music in the office. Long story short, she left early due to food poisoning.
←Rate | 11-27-2014 01:22 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon No thanks "Love Quotes" account. I get all my love quotes from P0rnHub.
←Rate | 11-27-2014 01:20 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You had me at "what does wrong hole mean"?
←Rate | 11-24-2014 08:27 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’d rather wear Rosie O’Donnell’s dirty underwear as a ski mask than turn Facebook chat on.
←Rate | 11-21-2014 00:40 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you cry loudly enough at a Walmart everyone will just assume you work there.
←Rate | 11-21-2014 00:37 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't decide if I should lay off the booze or just lay in it.
←Rate | 11-21-2014 00:35 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon P0rn is so unrealistic. There is no way in hell a guy with a ponytail would own a house that nice.
←Rate | 11-21-2014 00:21 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Helping someone set up a Facebook account is kind of like watching someone try meth for the 1st time.
←Rate | 11-20-2014 00:31 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don't want to look like a dork.
←Rate | 11-20-2014 00:08 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon UK's terror alert levels: 1. Oh we couldn't possibly 2. Blimey! 3. Call Jeeves!! 4. Bloody hell 5. *puts down teacup*
←Rate | 11-19-2014 13:41 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm just gonna wait for the iPhone12 when Siri can extend her arms and hold me.
←Rate | 11-19-2014 13:06 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The heart wants what the liquor store has.
←Rate | 11-18-2014 11:56 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You make me want to be a drunker person
←Rate | 11-15-2014 07:43 by Baddie Comments (0)  




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