nunthewizr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You can say 'strawberry blonde' all you want. I know a fu*king ginger when I see one.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:29 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't sweat the small stuff. I let it fill me with rage. Then I drink. Then I sweat alcohol. It's like the circle of life.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:31 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet it gets super awkward when hand models ask for jobs.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:33 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon So it's okay to kill hookers in video games, but smack one around in real life because you want to negotiate the price and suddenly everyone gets all pissy. Geeze.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:35 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found out I have tinnitus from constant exposure to rape whistles.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:36 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just finished everything that I had on my To Do list for today which was just a drawing of a set of boobs on a Post It note.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:38 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it's impossible to play the Wii without looking like you're competing in a relay race for the Special Olympics.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:41 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Facebook should have a status limit per day. This is not Twitter, shut the f*ck up, nobody cares.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 23:31 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Screw Olmpic soccer. If I wanted to watch somebody struggle to score for 90 mins I'd go watch old security tapes of me sitting at the bar.
←Rate | 08-10-2012 20:11 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll never judge or insult you because of your beliefs. I'm just kidding idiot.
←Rate | 12-21-2012 09:39 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If getting into heaven is based on how many times you have tried to close the elevator door before someone else gets on, I am screwed.
←Rate | 12-21-2012 09:40 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: Wanna put on our capes and our undies over our pants and go stand on top of a building?
←Rate | 12-21-2012 09:41 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish giants existed because watching them walk into telephone wires would be entertaining.
←Rate | 12-21-2012 09:43 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 20:21 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if employees for pornography sites get into trouble for looking at non-related work websites during the day. We caught you misusing company time. CNN? Amazon? Bed Bath and Beyond? We're not paying you to look at that kind of crap.
←Rate | 05-03-2013 22:50 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love babies wearing sunglasses. They are like little tiny, blind jazz musicians.
←Rate | 05-03-2013 22:50 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Currently pondering.....for a very curious monkey, why couldn't George ever figure out the name of the man in the yellow hat?
←Rate | 05-03-2013 22:51 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I select "Next day delivery" for an online purchase, I imagine all these people running around yelling, "Code Red. Code Red!!" and scurrying like crazy.
←Rate | 07-07-2013 19:42 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Things I'm confused by: how did Rub a Dub Dub, Three Men in a Tub become a nursery rhyme?
←Rate | 07-07-2013 19:43 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Fool me once, shame on me. Wait no, it’s shame on you. I think. Anyways, next time I’m gonna stab you.......... a lot.
←Rate | 07-07-2013 19:45 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  




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