jitney Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I switch my phone to united airplane mode and now I woke up in a hospital with a headache!
←Rate | 04-13-2017 11:40 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon "I need a girl who I can spend the rest of my whole night with...."
←Rate | 06-29-2012 06:13 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Superbowl - what my wife eats cereal out of every morning!
←Rate | 02-05-2012 04:16 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Looks like the driver owes Walker a 10 second car now
←Rate | 12-01-2013 01:16 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon As a kid, I use to talk to the fan so I can hear my ROBOT voices.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 20:44 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tip #12 for Halloween: Dont go dress-up as a toilet and walk in a bar when it just happened to be nickle beer night.
←Rate | 11-01-2012 02:15 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon and Reason 3 why Florida still has no color,,,,You cant just predict anything in Florida, not the Weather, not the Casey Anthonys/Zimmerman or any Court cases... and definitely not the Elections running smoothly!
←Rate | 11-07-2012 01:40 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon When asked what's the capital of Greece? Greece is bankrupt and it has no capital.
←Rate | 07-09-2015 19:36 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hillary: "Donald you need to release your taxes" Donald: "I emailed them to you!"
←Rate | 09-28-2016 23:53 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Right to bear arms meant only muskets? Is like saying right to free speech only meant the old English spoken in 1700s....
←Rate | 04-01-2013 02:16 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon This new bank app I have sends me suspicious activity alert for just about anything.....*alert* someone paid off a light bill, *alert* someone opened a bar tab, *alert* you've overpaid the stripper
←Rate | 01-25-2013 16:13 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon So your neighbors having 3pm afternoon sex next door loud, and your best solution is turning up your porn louder to send them a msg?
←Rate | 01-29-2013 15:46 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Someone's voodoo doll is finally working for the 49ers! Nice break
←Rate | 02-03-2013 21:05 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Not sure if I am getting older or if kids today are just getting retarded?....
←Rate | 01-06-2015 03:48 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon All these folks that use to be a Heat Fan...are now a wherever He-At fan.....
←Rate | 07-11-2014 17:13 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon ***BREAKING*** Jodi Arias found GUILTY of 1st Degree Murder, Now lets find them 3 kidnapping brothers guilty too!
←Rate | 05-08-2013 16:57 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I dance a little in my chair while I'm eating one of my fave meals..... Don't judge me -_-
←Rate | 05-09-2013 15:06 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon "You make me a better person" - Me talking to my beer!
←Rate | 06-24-2014 21:31 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Real valentine Holiday is 15Feb...when chocolate is 70% off!
←Rate | 02-13-2017 15:04 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dont blame me for you crazy issues! If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!
←Rate | 03-07-2017 13:11 by jitney Comments (1)  

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