Snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I’m the world record holder for the most arguments won against a woman................................................. 1 to be exact
←Rate | 02-20-2013 18:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon A good magician never reveals what he does for a living.
←Rate | 08-29-2013 13:25 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I eat my Oreos like everyone else.. one row at a time.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 14:31 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon [wakes up from a 20 year coma]. Sweet,,, X-Files still goin strong
←Rate | 01-27-2016 18:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon PRO TIP: Make tomorrow's colonoscopy special by eating all of this glitter!
←Rate | 04-11-2015 16:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Show me on the doll where gas prices touched you.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 14:59 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?
←Rate | 04-21-2012 08:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never win at Scrable
←Rate | 03-31-2012 21:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, YOU'LL FIND SOME WAY TO BLAME ME FOR THAT TOO, WON'T YOU, SUSAN?
←Rate | 04-16-2012 07:07 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Just saw a tumbleweed roll past my last post
←Rate | 10-17-2012 20:05 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always take a number at the deli, and I've been keeping them.... Eventually I'll have all the numbers and it will always be my turn
←Rate | 05-24-2013 08:01 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying I can perform miracles or anything, but when the Taco Bell employee isn't looking,, I can turn water into Sprite.
←Rate | 01-20-2014 16:52 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really have no idea what a Kardashian is but,,,, From what I can gather, it's an exercise bike for basketball players.
←Rate | 09-28-2012 18:22 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon This woman at Walmart has a lovely set of March Madness teeth.. She's down to the final 4.
←Rate | 03-13-2012 19:10 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon American Idol would be so much better if Statler and Waldorf from the Muppets were the judges.
←Rate | 04-06-2012 17:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm ABSOLUTELY positive I'd accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber.
←Rate | 09-06-2014 09:32 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I, put commas, in, weird places, so that, you, read, my jokes, like William, Shatner.
←Rate | 09-20-2014 06:33 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon
←Rate | 10-11-2014 07:30 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even if they sold ten-ply toilet paper, I would still fold it at least twice,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I have trust issues.
←Rate | 06-21-2013 18:10 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The inventor of the doorbell OBVIOUSLY did not own a chihuahua
←Rate | 08-06-2012 12:30 by snotty Comments (0)  




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