KISSTOPHER Funny Status Messages
Search results for status messages containing 'KISSTOPHER': View All Messages
Page: 6 of 35
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
You know you're fat when you run out of breath eating.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Ladies: A good man can make you feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world...oh sorry thats wine...wine does that.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
What if random erections are actually ninja handjobs?
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Who do I speak to about quitting adulthood?
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
In my lifetime I have learnt that women, who appear quiet, shy and innocent looking in public are actually the biggest freaks behind closed doors.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
"Give it to me!" she said, "I'm so wet, give it to me right now!" And I replied, “Screw you, it's my umbrella!”
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
The liquor store is a great place to meet new friends.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Whatever happened to that little girl from The Ring, did she grow up to be Kristen Stewart?
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Getting older means telling the grocery store checker the full story behind every item you buy.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
When you love someone truly and unconditionally, age, distance, bank balance, height or weight is just a damn number.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Oh, let's play that love game where you ignore me constantly and it kills me inside, then I start ignoring you too and it gets your attention!
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
The best time to give kids advice is when they're still young enough to believe you.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
If coffee or booze can't fix it, then it's a serious problem.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
At least this apocalypse and rapture debacle has conclusively proven one significant fact: We are not alone! We have idiots living among us!
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Three Apples changed the world. The first one tempted Eve, the second inspired Newton and the third was offered to the world half eaten by Steve Jobs. RIP
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
ME: "I wasn't that drunk!" MY FRIEND: “Dude, you asked your girlfriend if she was single.”
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
The best part about working from home is the alcohol.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Let everyone know what is on your mind, but let only a few know what is in your heart.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Sometimes people don't notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. The they are like, “Why don't you stalk me anymore”
[Search Results] [View All Messages]