Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
M.I.T. is making an iPhone app to help blind people text?.... Wow,, the LAST thing we need is a bunch of blind a-holes texting while they drive. 
Who's Kony's favorite rapper? Soulja Boy. Buh duh tsss.
2 incomes are better than 1 fellas. Make sure your girl got 2 jobs
ghost of christmas past but it’s just the clothes that used to fit before the pandemic
The temperature went from 90 to 55, like it saw a state trooper.
Gotta love Amazon wish lists, it's like saying "it's the thought that counts, so long as you only buy me exactly what I want.
I didn't fight in the Cold War just so we can be friends with Russia!
whats the difference between a chile mine manager and a priest? one gets his mines stuck in a shaft the other gets his shaft stuck in a miner
silence is golden, but duct tape is silver
just sayin....just sayin...just sayin....just sayin...there ya go cry baby...go whine somewhere else...just sayin...just sayin....just sayin...
How come Obama doesn't eat pickles? because he can't get his head in the jar...
The worst part about watching Fox Network are all the commercials for $hitty shows on Fox.
Tattoos: Nothing like a permanent disfigurement to satisfy the whims of fashion.
I was driving home the other day and saw the most beautiful rainbow, and then I had the disturbing thought, that gay people use this symbol to recognize each other. I think that is Ghey...
the military is the best at creating oxymorons...i.e. "friendly fire" or "military intelligence".
Fact of the day... no such thing as an American site unless the website is about America. Football is what's going on in the World Cup... England will wake up and beat Slovenia: Fact!
taken by elves and is now fighting the forces of healthy produce with my lollipop of justice Ahhhhhhhh! A broccoli with problems is in the area I repeat a broccoli with problems is in the area please quickly run for cover!
I'm looking for 11,780 point for my sports team because I know in my heart they won.
only whites work around here..darn mexicans, and blacks
FYI : The "Supreme Court" is just the "regular court",, served with sour cream and tomatoes 