Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Site owner must be Christian, he don't like words even remotely close to bad.

   Super Bowl....wtf is that? I only speak soccer and champions league

   kya chutiyapanti chal rahi hai is site pe..

   Obama got pulled over today and they asked him for his birth certificate and school transcript

   I asked my friend how his date went, insisted I sniff his fingers... worse part is , he's gay...

   The 100% American is 99% idiot.

   Who want's to Indian Leg Wrestle?

   Does Cheese say 'People!' when taking a picture?

   Have you ever notice that Frances' police car sirens sound like gay guys have a threesome xD

   When a girl stomach hurts it is always blamed on 1 of 2 "P" words by everyone... Period, Pregnant.. <--words do hurt :(

   If you don't like my tweets then don't follow me. And if you don't like losing then don't follow Lakers.

   _______ _. _____ died June 7, 2011 at the age of __. He was the _______ of ___ Libs. (RIP Leonard B. Stern)

   Sometimes I fight with my Bf just for the make up sex..

   I hate when my boss says I have to act more professional and learn how to wear pants up to my belly button, and plssing the plants is not watering them. YADA YADA YADA

   If you make a left turn on backstabbing lane, cut through friendship trust terrace, and hang another left on weasel blvd. You'll find Greg Zafiris

   Well aren't you just a waste of 2 billion years of evolution?

   a wife is like the suits of a deck of cards. You need a heart to love them, a diamond to marry them, a club to beat them when they drive you nuts, and a spade to bury them when their dead

   staring at you...yes, you....the one reading this status....yeahh..hey there mistah mistah. ^-^

   98 MORE SHOPPING DAYS UNTILL CHRISTMAS....YUK!

   reading chicken soup for the chicken's soul