Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Whitney Houston has been reunited with her daughter, Bobbi Kristina Brown, hopefully together they can both rest in peace. ‪

   Easter Bunny to her baby chic: "A magician pulled you out of a hat. Now stop asking questions!"

   24 beers in a case... 24 hours in a day... is that a coinsidence???

   What color does a smurf go when you choke it ?

   You know your ugly when you have more pictures of your family then yourself ' Haha

   We need Facebook Dummies Asap..Because Some OF Yall Say the Dumbest Shi...

   ʇɐ s,oɥ ǝɥʇ ǝɹǝɥʍ˙˙˙ uoıʇısod ʇɥƃıɹ ǝɥʇ uı ʍou ɯɐ ı' ʞo

   16-year-old Taylor Momsen says her best friend is her vibrator. In other news, Justin Bieber says he never goes anywhere without his buttplug.

   (All the lights by Osama bin laden)Everything is right, A hole in my head, Osama gone…that n-gga dead!Restraining order can't get over the boarder,Clinton, Bush, Obama hate me in that order.

   I wonder if the people that voted for Obama are the same people that voted for Sanjaya on American Idol?

   A man's home might be his castle, but his wife is usually the one who rules it.

   This Thanksgiving, comedians, especially Alec Baldwin, should give thanks for Trump.

   Today only: PetSmart is giving away free canaries with no perches necessary.

   I hope Kate Middleton doesn't have a misscarriage or Elton John will write a song about it.

   Man put God in the mind and he ruined the whole brain since the first millenium.

   typed this with her toes.

   doesn't believe we put a man on the moon.

   you can have a warm glass of shut the hell up, now you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep....your in my world now grandma!!

   You know those couples where the wife is 40 something and looks like 20 something, and the husband makes over 100k and the teenagers are respectful and good looking and they go out to eat together on Friday nights as a family? I HATE those people!

   Holly Christ!! I'm as high as whoever wrote the Bible.