Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Let's see if Bruce Jenner remains a Republican once he starts making 77 cents on the dollar.

   Dear americans, as you celebrate your independence just know you are the greatest country in term of human weight and obesity.

   says Read my lips...$1,600,000,000,000 in new taxes... Thanks GOP Congress

   All the brain dead idiots that watch and listen to FOX news must be pretty pissed they haven't been able to marry their 1st cousion yet.....or their goat.

   I can't wait for tomorrow when Trump will officially be president again. Love to see those libs cry.

   If they can get their student loans forgiven then I want my car loan forgiven. ALL LOANS MATTER!

   I'm glad we have a Space Force rather than a pandemic response team.

   Wouldn't recommend hanging up mistletoe at the office this year.

   when Catholics do that ‘head, shoulder, knees and toes’ thing then fool everyone they’ve prayed.

   how can Ted Cruz be elected to a job as a law maker when he can't read & understand the law ghat says you have to be born in the US to become President?

   I hit the 5,000 friends mark today. Which isn't bad, until you realize that I've been on facebook since 1872.

   Lol ......Prescription drugs are killing everybody not street drugs wake up people

   The best thing that Donald Trumb did was fired himself.

   My mom thinks LOL stands for "lots of love" and texted me "Your Grandma just died. LOL."

   if a slave was born into a plantation and knew nothing of the outside world, he would not call it hopeless because it's all he knows. perhaps this propagated system of "democracy" is all you know

   Lazy Rule #15: Be sure your woman is trained to bring a sandwich after going to pound town.

   I am confused did Roethlisberger hurt his arm playing football or rap!ng somebody?

   Don't look down and be depressed. Look up and you will be blessed.

   Diamonds are a girls best friend. They last forever. Dogs are a mans best friend. They age faster than humans and lick their own ass! Any questions??

   swears I would loose my head if it wasn't attached to my body!