Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If you love something, let it go... down on you.

   Why can't we really post whats on our mind , because we'll be thought of as weird weak - I allmost didn't post this

   Ohio has the won the BadA$$ state title of the year

   An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.jj

   Not everything with a coin slot is a vending machine.. I mean, look at her.

   Apparently Facebook is now Rated...NC-17?!

   as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chair!!!

   looks like I'm having pie all day....Thanks to 3-14 or 3.14

   Things we are thankful for: #1: friends and family #2: caller I.D so we can avoid our friends and family.

   hunting out dwarfs to dress up as leprechauns..

   I dont need anger managment classes you need STFU classes ;)

   ure. Well, DUH!! They need to put the Coke in first, THEN the Mentos.

   whos your step daddy once removed by your second cousin?!

   Do you need a silencer if you're going to shoot a mime?

   "Follow me, follow me, follow me, follow me, but don't lose your grip." - Snoop Dogg prophesying the coming of Twitter in 1993.

   unwritten rule of the day...avoid eye contact, while eating a banana

   Poke Hot biatches on Facebook ...cause my gf is cool with that

   a real woman rotates tha batteries in her remote wit tha batteries in her vibrator

   I just snatched your little ray of freaking sunshine and flushed it down the toilet. How ya feeling now?

   I've recently put three girls in the "friend zone" so they can know how it feels for once.