Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Just called in sick to work with Buck Fever.

   I be the internet moves quite fast between midnight and 3am. All the Potter geeks will be at the movies rather than searching for online "secrets".

   Once had an awkward moment just to see how it feels like

   Marriage is a three ring circus: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and then there's the suffering

   Curiosity killed the heroine Cat

   Actually found a way to enjoy Black Friday...baked beans with onions.

   Im not tryin to start no controversy but wouldn't some pizza combos and a cream soda hit the spot right now?

   wants to be like one of those cool tv dads like Bill Cosby. So he is sending his wife to Law School and starting a Medical practice in his basement

   logged into your facebook account and starting fights with everyone on mafia wars...

   Looks good on the dance floor, dancing to electro pop like a robot from 1984

   Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

   turning japanese

   Today shopping malls will be empty... however parking lots will be full...

   Therapists should just buy a bunch of baby pandas & be like to their patients "Are you depressed? Well here's a baby panda." Problem solved.

   still can't smell what The Rock is cooking, can you?

   Enough of the end of the world posts! Smh

   Dear Santa, Please define good.

   I Met A Good Friend Through A Fake Friend

   Today's date officially marks the twelfth day of Christmas....So, except for the Nine Ladies Dancing, Eight Maids-a-Milking and the Five Golden Rings...it's all going back to Wal Mart. Especially that squawking, annoying, Partridge in a Pear Tree.

   Fast forward to the drive-thru one...