Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The one good thing about the English weather...if you don't like it - wait a minute..x

   GLEE is so gay, Adam Lambert and Clay Aiken have staged a boycott!!!

   wishing he had a million dollars so he could buy you a fur coat, but not a real fur coat . that would cruel.

   Do you believe in magic? Yes? Want to go up to my room and make some?

   ok....am I the only one that sings "Come on Irene" laughs then knows I shouldnt?

   Why people comment on Pics saying sht like: I like this... thats why the "Like" button is there.

   when the room gets quiet I say things like "im a bannana":)

   has found my age is very inappropriate for my behavior.

   When George Washington got carded he just pulled out a quarter.

   Well, just got home from work.....it seems davey jones died....at first I didn't believe it....but then I saw his face, and now I'm a believer. O_o

   My wife says I'm "Immature"... just because I snuck up behind her when she was reading her "Romance" novel and made kissing sounds.....

   My password is ***********.

   Kiss her neck… She'll rip your clothes off.

   You like to sleep? Damn me too. Let's do it some time together ;)

   hoping that "number six" is the charm. Have another Slim Jim, Mr. Cheney!

   Has a box of tissues,some lotion and a picture of you , I better get a bigger box of tissues .

   How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

   GREAT! Only 7 more days left of viewing pictures of kids dressed as beggars!

   hates it when people use the drive thru ATM for anything more than making a withdrawl.. do your damn deposits inside

   I didn't sleep that well last night, there must have been a pea under my mattress.