JEBI Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I won't lie, I'd pay top dollar to just see Katy Perry work a jackhammer for a few minutes.
←Rate | 02-28-2013 12:59 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Kate Middleton goes into labor, the doctor will say "the baby is crowning!" And they'll laugh and laugh...
←Rate | 02-28-2013 12:57 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon After sex, I like to cuddle up to her, wrap my arm around her, brush her hair and whisper: "Welcome to rock bottom."
←Rate | 02-28-2013 09:45 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Oscar speech would begin like this...First and foremost, I would like to thank my legs. Without them I would not be standing here today...
←Rate | 02-26-2013 15:19 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to have three children.. One girl, named Stacey, so my wife can be Stacey's mom.. And she will have it going on.. One boy named Luke, so I can say "Luke, I am your father." and one more boy named Sparta.. So I can introduce him 'THIS IS SPARTAA'
←Rate | 02-26-2013 12:33 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friends don't let friends make 'Harlem Shake' videos...
←Rate | 02-20-2013 13:40 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess we know what the Pope is giving up for lent...being the Pope...
←Rate | 02-11-2013 15:34 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon One time I farted so loud in my sleep they had to stop the bus...
←Rate | 02-07-2013 11:27 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd kill for a microwave that plays Europe's “The Final Countdown” during the last 30 seconds.
←Rate | 02-04-2013 14:52 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon PSY does the gangnam style dance so much...don't you think he should've lost some weight by now?
←Rate | 02-04-2013 11:03 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only footsteps I would follow are those of a landmine deactivation technician...
←Rate | 02-04-2013 11:02 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going on a vodka diet. Apparently you can lose 3 days in one week...
←Rate | 02-01-2013 10:51 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time your bf/gf get mad attach a cape around their neck and say "Now you're super mad!" If they laugh...marry them...
←Rate | 01-30-2013 11:35 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lance Armstrong cheated this whole time? Yeah right...next thing you're going to tell me is that Subway's footlong sandwiches are only 11 inches long...silly people...
←Rate | 01-18-2013 12:16 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite vegetable is bacon...
←Rate | 01-12-2013 14:20 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I turned my phone onto "Airplane Mode" and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever...
←Rate | 01-09-2013 15:06 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well it turns out, the answer wasn't at the bottom of the bottle, I guess I'll have to check in the other 23...
←Rate | 01-04-2013 20:37 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think its about time we put the movie 2012 in the comedy section...
←Rate | 01-03-2013 10:39 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon My American friends take a moment to "g00gle" "idlenomore" your Canadian neighbours are starting a revolution one tweet at a time...
←Rate | 12-20-2012 11:32 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how hard J-LO has to laugh for her ass to fall off?
←Rate | 12-17-2012 15:19 by JEBI Comments (0)  




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