nunthewizr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I wouldn't say that I'm really a bad dancer more like....overly Caucasian.
←Rate | 11-13-2011 09:07 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The saddest part about my neighbor demanding I not serve booze to her kids is finding out they're not cool dwarfs who like to party.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 21:09 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The more neighbors I spy on through my binoculars, the creepier I think all my neighbors are!
←Rate | 11-14-2011 21:10 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Muslims, if you want 72 virgins just go to your local cinema today for a Twilight showing and you'll have plenty to choose from.
←Rate | 11-19-2011 21:49 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn't have couches at this Best Buy
←Rate | 11-19-2011 22:00 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even though he was voiced by James Earl Jones, Darth Vader definitely wasn't black because he never would have admitted he was Luke's father.
←Rate | 11-19-2011 22:05 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Her: Are you listening to me? Me: Trying. But when you talk, your boobs jiggle. It's distracting. Her: Grow up. Me: They did it again!
←Rate | 11-21-2011 12:26 by nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cure for the economy: Send welfare checks in an envelope that can be used as a condom.
←Rate | 11-21-2011 12:26 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We... did... start the fire..." - Billy Joel on his deathbed
←Rate | 11-22-2011 09:30 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part of Black Friday? Waiting outside the stores for exhausted women on endorphin highs to come out.
←Rate | 11-25-2011 16:13 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought about going out tonight but am too lazy to take a shower and clean up. Times like this, make me wish Walmart had a bar.
←Rate | 01-07-2012 10:55 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate it when you get that one idiot that pollutes your entire post?
←Rate | 03-19-2012 17:17 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Holy Crap!!! I'm watching Fox News as we speak and they just discovered bigfoot for real... wait wait.. disregard it's Chaz Bono....
←Rate | 04-05-2012 10:14 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you love someone, let them know often. Because you might not be able to say it again. Also, same thing works for people you f*cking hate.
←Rate | 04-17-2012 10:17 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yesssss….neighbor guy, the whole block knows you own a Harley. So, you can stop revving your engine every 1.6 seconds. Or, better yet, while you are stopped at the stop sign. You're cool, we get it.
←Rate | 04-17-2012 20:07 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found a butterfly on the ground that had no wings. So, I poured some RedBull on it and BAM... it drowned.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:24 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'm inevitably brought to justice for my crimes against humanity I hope I'm found "incredibly" guilty and not just "regular" guilty.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:25 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn you, books on shelves that don't activate a secret door.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:27 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I can't identify an animal I spray it with water because there's always that chance it could be a gremlin
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:28 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wouldn't necessarily classify myself as a hater. I'm more like a rational critic of rampant idiocy.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 21:28 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  




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